Nothing But the Truth

Latischia called me last week and told me she had forwarded my blog to one of her friends, she went on to tell me that the friend then asked her, "Did all this stuff really happen to Mandy?" She laughed and said, "Yep, I've actually been present for some of it."

Just to set the record straight, everything that appears in this little online journal is 100% true and it all happened to me.

Let's see...

There was the phone call with the guy that made me realize what a freak magnet I am.

The married friend that turned into an octopus.

The guy that was really nice, but drank entirely too much.

The time a senior citizen was willing to pay me to look at my boobs.

Me ending up in a jail cell without my glasses or shoes.

The time I fell on my boob in front of a gaggle of lesbians.

When I let Laura try to pierce me with a rusty safety pin.

When Phillip quit his job and refused to find another one.

The first time Willie referred to me as Clydesdale.

The time I nearly broke my ankle because I thought my apartment was on fire.

Dodging a Hurricane.

The evening I was mistaken for a drag queen and had to puke in a men's room.

The old guy that tried to impress me with his boats, corvettes and acreage.

The night I got beat in the face with stripper boobs.

When I was "Creepy Girl"

Dealing with a big bunch of douche bags in Louisiana.

When I got caught with my skirt up.

The night I took a ride around downtown Houston in a hatchback, all so my friend could get laid.

When I got dumped for God.

and finally...The guy with the diapers.

After going back and reading all these posts, I can see where someone might be like, "Bless her heart."

Welcome, my new reader, I have a feeling things won't change...you're in for a treat. :)

Until next time...

Mandy