Why?

Why is it that weirdos are attracted to me? A guy from the personals emailed me a couple of times last week and asked me to call him. His profile said that he was 39 years old and had kids living with him full time. I'm ok with a man having full custody of his kids, and my thinking is...if he has full custody of his kids, he won't expect me have any! So, I call this guy, we'll call him the Fireman. He answers the phone and as soon as he started talking I realized, I have made a HUGE mistake. First of all, he had the thickest hillbilly accent. Now, I know that I have a pretty thick accent but at least I'm somewhat intelligent, sadly he was not. He asked me what I did for a living and when I told him he asked me why I was being so serious. I was like, I'm not really being all that serious. You asked me what I did for a living. Then, he asked me why I don't have any children. When I replied with "I just don't want any children, I have 3 nephews that I can rent for a day and when they start to smell or get on my nerves I can give them back to their mother." His next question caught me a little off guard..."Well what are you going to do with your life?" What the FUCK!?!? Just because I'm a woman I am supposed to have a bunch of kids to justify my existence? I told him I would survive without children. Then I asked him how old his children were...THEY ARE 21 AND 18! Do you realize I was 9 years old when he had his first child! Then he asked me what I had cooked for the evening, when I explained that I don't cook he then asked me "What can you cook?" Again, I said "I DON'T COOK! And do you know he had the nerve to tell me "You need to learn how to cook." WHAT? This bastard has never seen me in person and he is telling me I need to learn how to cook. I don't know who he thought he was, but I almost told him to kiss my ass. Then he said he doesn't really know how to cook, but "He loves to burn meat on fire." (That is a direct quote.) Then he asked me if I had any pets...I told him I have a very large, lazy cat. He told me he had a cat at one time, he told me that when the cat wanted to show someone love he would....BITE THE MESS OUT OF YOU. (Again, another direct quote.)Who says that? It was at that moment that I realized it is time for me to get off the phone. I explained that I had to get up early and I needed to go to bed, we got off the phone and I promptly saved his phone number under DO NOT ANSWER. So, for those of you that are married or are in a relationship, go kiss that person. Try not to bite the mess out of them in the process.

There is another guy I have been talking to, he is hilarious! We will call him the Doctor. Yes my friends, you read correctly he is a doctor. He is a second year resident. We are going out tomorrow, he has lived in Galveston for the past 18 months but has not ventured into Houston yet. So, tomorrow we are going to go do touristy things in Houston. I'm really looking forward to it. Hopefully we have as much fun hanging out as we do talking on the phone. So, tomorrow evening I will post about the day and let y'all know how it went. Let's just hope he's not a freak!

Until next time...

Single Girl