Here is a question I have asked a couple of my girlfriends and none of us seem to know the answer. I can remember, in the mid-late 90's, when a girl shaved below the waist she was considered a dirrrty girl. :) Now, it seems if you don't shave below the waist, your a dirty girl. :( When did shaving and waxing become a staple in the personal hygiene department? I know that keeping your bikini line trimmed has always been fashionable...no one wants to see stray hairs peaking out from the sides of your panties or swimsuit. But, when did absolutely bald make or break your sex life? Maybe it's because porn has become more mainstream, maybe it was the popularity of the thong, MAYBE it was that friggin' sex tape Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee made...I have no idea. What I do know, I might have to start taking yoga just so I will be able to keep contorting myself so I won't be a dirty girl. :( Until next time... Mandy
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Saturday, March 26, 2011
The Last Seven Months in Photos...
and a few words. It seems as though after 35 years on this planet, my life is unrecognizable. I think it's a good thing, only time will tell... In September I started dating a boy, as you will see in the photos to come.
Latischia and me before the rehearsal dinner.
I was the maid of honor. (This is us before the ceremony.)
Okay, this is Doug. This is the guy I started dating in Sept.
Latischia and Kelly's first dance.
This is us doing the not yet traditional bride/maid of honor dance.
We were dancing to Redneck Girl
Umm, because no celebration is complete without me taking photos with boobies.
This was Halloween. Doug's friend had a party at his house. I dressed up as Doug.
This was at the end of the evening. I had the most comfortable costume and I won Most Original. Sadly, it took about a week to finally scrub all the tattoos off of me.
This is Rita and me.
My only goal was to make a snow angel. Mission accomplished. (Please notice the jazz hands that my angel has.!)
Because, no matter what, I'm a Texas girl! GUNS UP!
This is my friend Mikael. We had not seen each other in about 10 years. He lives near Denver and came up the mountain to see me.
Once we realized that it was snowing outside, we ran onto the balcony...You would have thought we were 7 years old. I'll have to find the video and post it.
This is Rita and me swimming in the snow! Heated pool + snowflakes falling = AWESOME!
Umm, because why wouldn't I stay at a place called Beaver Run?
Me saying bye to Colorado. When I got back to Houston, I called my mom and said, "That's it, I'm selling everything I own and I'm moving to CO! Sadly, everything I own will only get me as far as Katy."
This was at the Reverend Horton Heat show. I really liked his hair!
DECEMBER 2010
Chocolate covered cherry jello shots. I look like a drunk, crazy porn star in this photo, but it makes me laugh!
This is my Paw Paw and me at our family Christmas gathering. I heart my Paw Paw!
Here we are on New Year's Eve. I decided since I looked like a full blown lesbian on Halloween I was going to dress up a bit for New Year. I adore my burgundy stripper wig!!!
JANUARY 2011
Because I haven't posted any photos of Rogen in a long time...Here he is in his sock monkey bed.
FEBRUARY 2011
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Yesterday Was a Sad Day.
My facebook wall will explain it all...
The day started out with a wall post from my sister. The comments that follow make me laugh.
Megan: Are you ok? you're not locked in a padded room somewhere are you?
Amanda: I'm fine...why do you ask?
23 hours ago · LikeUnlike
Megan: You didn't hear? Seth Rogen is engaged.
23 hours ago · LikeUnlike
Amanda: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
23 hours ago · LikeUnlike
Jack: Its true Amanda...however, Lindsey Lohan should be out of jail soon and if you play your cards right she can blow that relationship to smithereens. If that does not work just remember it is a Hollywood relationship and she be over within 18 months or so
23 hours ago · LikeUnlike
Amanda: I'd like to thank both of my siblings for their support in this very rough time in my life. I'll be okay, it'll just take time. *as a single tear rolls down my cheek.*
23 hours ago · LikeUnlike
Jack: I Just got a call from Rogen's people and they asked me if I would officiate the wedding...I told them "Are you kidding me, the guy just broke my sisters heart, no way I want to help that scumbag!" Then they told me what the honorarium was....sorry Amanda - I must do the Lords will!
23 hours ago · LikeUnlike
Amanda: That's going to be very interesting considering he's Jewish. But, I understand. Just let him know before the ceremony that he's missing out on one awesome, tall, chunky, southern girl. 22 hours ago · LikeUnlike
Megan: Jack....just "forget" to sign the marriage licence.
22 hours ago · LikeUnlike
Amanda: Ooooh, I like that, Megan. Jack, can you make that happen?!?!?
22 hours ago · LikeUnlike
Jack: Megan - AWESOME IDEA! Amanda - For that chunk of change I will convert - I studied Hebrew in Seminary
22 hours ago · LikeUnlike
Megan: She's just after his celebrity! May he get her one of those rings that cannot be cut off with any thing and may she smash her finger in the limo door.
22 hours ago · LikeUnlike
Amanda: Megan, this is why I ♥ you!!!
22 hours ago · LikeUnlike
Megan: Lol I'm the red one on the right while Jacks the white one on the left!
22 hours ago · LikeUnlike
Doug: I got your back ;)
20 hours ago · LikeUnlike
Then, I posted this on my wall...
Amanda: It's a sad day in my usually happy, little bubble.
Seth Rogen Gets Engaged.
23 Hours Ago · Comment ·LikeUnlike · View Feedback (8)Hide Feedback (8)
Jack: She is a complete looser - what a tramp!
23 hours ago · LikeUnlike
Amanda: I totally agree! I don't know how I'm going to break the news to Rogen the Wonder Pup. He's going to be very upset...He was looking forward to being Rogen Rogen.
23 hours ago · LikeUnlike
Jack: This quote from the article"Seth has joked before, “I have a girlfriend who is far prettier than I should have,” though we’re assuming he made that crack before he was a skinny, in-demand comedy star and looked more like a sarcastic grizzly... bear escaping from the zoo. Either way, we couldn’t be more excited for the happy couple. Now we just find a fiancée for Jonah Hill so he doesn’t start moping around the house watching ANTM marathons. One, two, three, not it!"
#1 - You loved him when he was the sarcastic grizzly bear escaping from the zoo!
#2 - That Jonah Hill kid is still available and may I say as a completely heterosexual male....he is pretty hot!
23 hours ago · LikeUnlike
Amanda: This is why I ♥ you, Jack.
22 hours ago · LikeUnlike
Megan: She'll get tired of his newly shaven face, greek god physique and throw him away soon enough!
22 hours ago · LikeUnlike
Amanda: One can only hope!
22 hours ago · LikeUnlike
Jack: Megan - are you talking about Seth or my wife Dorothy, because that woman loves my clean shaven face and greek god body!
22 hours ago · LikeUnlike
Megan: Seth's girl, Dorothy would never!
22 hours ago · LikeUnlike
My sister and I did not grow up with our brother...I think it's weird that our sense of humor is all pretty similar. I guess DNA is a powerful thing.
And Seth, if you're reading this, DON'T DO IT! You're supposed to marry me!!!
Until next time...
Mandy
Monday, August 23, 2010
Phrases Mandy Hates
In the past I have started segments here on Mainly Mandy that I stick to for a little bit and then they go by the wayside, this will probably be the same way, but I decided to start a new thing...
PHRASES MANDY HATES!
Are there certain phrases that people use that just completely irritate you, I have several. To start out this little segment I will tell you one that irks me to no end...
Using baby girl as a term of endearment.
example: It's so good to see you, Baby Girl, how have you been?
I don't know where this nickname came from, the only thing I can figure out is it started getting used quite often after Sugarland released, Baby Girl. When the song first came out, I'm not going to lie, I thought it was a catchy little diddy. Now, it makes me grit my teeth.
It really bothers me when refer to their adult daughters this way...
That's my baby girl over there.
Really, that 20 year old sitting there with her thong sticking out of the back of her pants, chugging beer out of a beer bong is your baby girl?
And it REALLY irritates me when someone refers to me as their "baby girl." Especially when it's one of my good ol' boy customers.
Baby girl, do you think you can get a man on the phone so I can ask him what kind of hydraulic oil I need to put in my forklift?
I am 34 years old and been in this industry for 10 years now, I think I can help you.
It even bothers me when people refer to kids as baby girl.
My baby girl starts 2nd grade today.
I'm sorry, but if you are no longer wearing diapers, you should never be referred to as baby girl!
Until next time...
Mandy
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Thanks For Blowing Me Off!
Friday night, I got together with some of my alumni girls. I always call them my Young Ones, because none of them are 30 yet. And, apparently when I'm with My Young Ones I think that I'm not 30 yet. Well, that's not true, My Young Ones act like I'm not 30 yet. So, needless to say, I got INTOXICATED Friday night. I think I've stated before that I'm a beer girl, I'm not into fruity drinks and I don't like shots, except for one...Jagermeister. Jager and I have been good friends since 2002 or 2003. I don't mean Jager Bombs, I'm talking straight Jager.
Anyway, so I'm sitting at the table with JoLyn - 28, Lindsey - 23, Alicia - 27 (who is the bartender there) and Terry, JoLyn's boyfriend - 29. NONE OF THESE PEOPLE WERE BORN BEFORE 1980! I'm not sure how many shots of Jager Alicia brought me, all I know is I didn't order but one of them. Back to the story...We're sitting there and all of a sudden JoLyn looks at me and says...
JoLyn: You're not going to believe who just walked in.
Me: Who?
JoLyn: Mexican Seth Rogen.
Do y'all remember Mexican Seth Rogen?
And, my faithful readers, when I looked up I saw him standing there with another friend of mine. So, I looked at my friends and said, "I'm going to say hi to Mem!"
After a brief conversation with Mem, I looked at him and he said...
MSR: Hi, Amanda! How are you?
Me: I'm good. How are you?
MSR: I'm great.
And if I hadn't already been creepy enough...I pull the creepy drunk girl...
Me: That's good. You blew me off!
MSR: No I didn't.
Me: What the eff ever! Yes you did. How's your daughter doing?
MSR: She's good. I have a second daughter now, she's 8 months old.
Me: THANK YOU FOR BLOWING ME OFF!!! I want no part of your fertileness!
With that I turned around and walked away. The next morning, in my haze of feeling like hammered asshole, I realized something...
I'm no mathematician, but I do believe that girl was pregnant when he and I started talking. So, maybe I wasn't creepy girl...maybe he's just fertile jackass boy.
Nah, I'm sure my creepiness had a little to do with it...and I'm sure my confronting him in the middle of the bar didn't help my claims of normalcy. Oh well! :)
Until next time...
Mandy
Monday, July 19, 2010
Slinging a Hot Dog Down a Hallway
I was talking to a friend last night and we were talking about photos that women send via text messaging. Let me start this by saying, I'm all for women feeling sexy and empowered...I don't personally do the naked text photo, but I know there are women that do. I don't do it because once you hit send then that photo belongs to the recipient and they can do whatever they want with it. And, I'm sorry, I do not want my naked body being sent to an entire phone list whether it be on purpose on on accident. But, I get it, if you're comfortable enough with your body and you have no plans on running for public office and you're sending it to your significant other, then whatever...go for it. I don't understand the photos that women send to men that are just of their lady parts...but, hey, if you want to give someone a gynecological eye view of your hoohaa, have at it. But again, you run the risk of your nether regions being blasted out to the masses.
With all that being said, there seems to be a growing trend of photos being taken by average, everyday women with household items inserted in their lady box. After hearing about some of the photos that my friend has received, from women he IS NOT in a relationship with, I was basically mortified.
Pillar Candles. I can honestly say, I've never looked at a candle and thought, hmmm how awesome would that be to get up on that!
A baseball bat. "HEEEEEY, BATTER, BATTER, BATTER..." Really, did you watch your child play t-ball and think to yourself, "I have to have that in me!"
Golf Clubs - Insert Tiger Woods joke here.
The Base of a Table Lamp - This was my only question when I heard this one..."How much lube would you need to get that up in your punani?"
A Bowling Pin - Who has a bowling pin in a closet and if you do who thinks to themselves, "I wonder what it would feel like to have a bowling pin in me?" I didn't even ask what end was inside, I really don't think I want to know.
A Bowling Ball - Really? It just doesn't seem like you'd snap back from that.
So, here's my question, do men find this sexy? I'm trying to figure out the thought process behind this. Maybe I'm nuts, but I don't want to do anything to my C U Next Tuesday that's going to make me look like I'm all stretched out. The bad thing is, these are just women that he either knows from random meetings in bars or hook-ups. This is what I told my friend..."If these women, that you don't know, are sending these photos to you, what the hell are they sending to people they actually do know?"
Here was the Mandyism of the night...
I'm sitting here, looking around my living room and there is nothing that I would want to do that with, especially since I would have to dust whatever is first.
Until next time...
Mandy
Thursday, July 8, 2010
I Have a New Friend!
I have a new friend and his name is Sam. We met back in February and have become besties! Seriously, I never thought I could become such good friends with a someone in such a short period of time. He is kind of the male equivalent of me when it comes to dating. We both attract the freaks of nature. The majority of our conversations revolve around the weirdos that are attracted to us. It feels good to finally be the one that gets to use the phrase, "Where do you find these people?"
To say that our friendship has been an eye-opening experience would be a bit of an understatement. I'll write more about that in a future post.
After talking to me for right at six months, he can finally understand the majority of the things that I say...At first, I had to repeat every other word because he couldn't understand me due to my thick southern accent, which I don't really get since he grew up in Georgia. (I don't think my accent is that bad, I don't hear any difference in the way we speak.) He is actually in the process of teaching me Hindi and I wish I had videoed or recorded some of our past lessons because the dialogue between the two of us is hilarious. I might have to do a re-enactment of the number portion of the lesson.
Probably one of the best things about having him as a friend is that I get the male perspective in the dating world. And, he's brutally honest which sometimes comes across as mean, but I know that he's only telling me these things to help me not hurt me.
Here are a couple of excerpts from some of out conversations...
Sam: So, did you talk to that guy?
Me: yeah, but he's only been separated from his wife for a month.
Sam: Ewwww, that's not good.
Me: Yeah, and he sounds really country...like, his accent is so bad, I could hear it.
Sam: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, that's pretty bad.
Sam: So, that chic wants to go out tonight so she's going to her house to get an overnight bag and then meeting me back over here.
Me: What?
Sam: She's meeting me over here.
Me: You don't listen to a damn thing I tell you, do you?
Sam: What?
Me: You know what, for being a card-carrying member of Mensa, you sure do make some stupid decisions.
Sam: HAHAHAAHAHAHAH, there's my Mandyism for the day.
Sam: It's raining over here.
Me: (while driving) Yeah, it looks like I'm about to go into some bad weather.
Sam: Yeah, I'm watching the weather on the local news.
Me: Have they shown the minority kids playing in a ditch full of water yet?
Sam: Huh?
Me: Okay, it's raining, I have to go.
the text I received shortly there after...
Sam: There it is. Black kids playing in the water. Damn, you know your peeps.
And those are just the first couple that pop into my head. I could do a daily post on conversations between the two of us.
Until next time...
Mandy
Oh, sorry about the lack of posts lately...I'll try to be a better blogger in the future. :)
