Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Mrs. Single Girl Ohno

That is right boys and girls, I have decided that I am going to marry Apolo Anton Ohno!

I remember seeing him in the Olympics and thinking, "Wow, he is really cute!" Well, Monday night I was watching Dancing with the Stars, (It's a guilty pleasure, leave me alone!) and when I saw him come out and start his cha cha cha, that was it...I fell in LOVE!!! Apolo is PERFECT!!! He does not have one ugly feature. How is that possible. He has perfect teeth, perfect hair, perfect skin, he's an athlete so you know he has perfect endurance. :) I very rarely develop celebrity crushes, so it has to be love...Right??? When the show was over, I decided to do something that was so stalkeresque I'm almost embarassed to admit to it...I GOOGLED HIM! I found out we have a lot in common.

1. He's 5'8"
I'M 5'8"!
2. He's on Dancing with the Stars, so he has to like to dance.
I LIKE TO DANCE!!
3. He likes to speed skate.
I LIKE TO WATCH HIM SPEED SKATE!!!

I think it sounds like a match made in Heaven!!! Now, all I have to do is devise a plan to meet him. I think I've thought of a good one...tell me what you think!

I am going to start training in speed skating! (Is 31 to old to take up speed skating?) Then, once I'm good enough I will start competing to qualify for the upcoming Olympics. Then, once I qualify for the Olympics I will travel to Beijing. (That is where they are holding the next Winter Olympics, right?) Then, when I see him practicing on the ice I will skate past him and all he will see is a blur of Single Girl ponytail. Then I will stop by doing that thing that ice skaters do where they shift their feet sideways and ice sprays all over everything. THEN, I will turn around and say, "Hi, I'm Single Girl! Who are you?" (Because I can't admit to him that the only reason I'm competing in the Olympics is because of him, DUH!) Then we will lock eyes, and skate toward each other (knocking other skaters down, because we only see each other!) and we will have one of those movie moments where all of the lights go out, the only light will be a spotlight on the two of us!!! What do you think???? I think it will work!

And if not, maybe I'll get to meet him and he'll be into tall, chunky chicks that smoke!

You never know, it could happen...DON'T RUIN MY DREAM!!!

Until next time...

Single Girl

2 comments:

d.g. said...

OMG! You are so freakin' funny! I was laughing out loud (LOL) and I'm sure my coworkers think I'm even crazier than they suspected!

But to answer your question ... I honestly don't think you're ever too old to begin a career as a speed skater. All you need is a dream ... :)

Rice Spice said...

I, too, was laughing my 'effing head off.

If you want to compete in speed skating, I'm sure you'll see Diana Banana and myself in the front row of the rink holding up our cheesy banners and wearing our "Single Girl for the Gold" t-shirts. I'm sure I can find a bedazzler just for that occasion!