Corvettes, Boats and Ball Sacks.

I recently got back in contact with a friend that I dated about 10 years ago. He and I were able to remain friends after we realized that we were not meant to be together. I went to his wedding reception and his father's funeral. But, like a lot of friendships, we lost touch after a while. I probably haven't seen him in 6 years and I haven't talked to him in about 5.

So, he and I have been talking to each other for the past week. Catching up on what's going on in each other's world. I, found out that the toddler I saw 6 years ago is now a 7 year old little boy and that he has a 2 year old little girl. When he found out I was single, he told me that he had a friend that he thought I might like. I asked him to tell me a little about this guy and all he said was..."He works with me." Then I asked him, "How old is he?" I was told, "In his 40's." Reluctantly I said, "OK, tell him to call me."

So, he called me last night...

The conversation started off like all conversations do when you don't know each other. Then, it got interesting...

Me: So where are you from, you don't sound like you're from Houston.
Guy: Well, my mom is Indonesian and my father is Dutch. I was born in Indonesia, then we moved to Holland. Then when I was nine, my parents decided to come to America. So we got on a boat and came to the U.S. We went through New York and then got on a train and came to Houston.
In Mandy's head: That's weird, why would they travel by boat?
Me: Really, that's pretty interesting.

**More conversation**

Guy: I've done a lot of traveling.
Me: Oh really, where have you been?
Guy: Spain, England, Holland, Indonesia, Australia, Vietnam...
Me: Vietnam? Why did you go to Vietnam?
Guy: To kill people...
Me: You fought in Vietnam?
Guy: Yeah, why?
Me: How old are you?
Guy: 59.
Me 59!?!?!? What do you mean you're 59?
Guy: I thought he told you how old I was.
Me: HE TOLD ME YOU WERE IN YOUR 40'S!
Guy: How old are you?
Me: 32!
Guy: I have a lot of friends that are your age. Don't worry, I don't look 59.
In Mandy's head: OH MY GOD! There is less of an age difference between this man and my Paw Paw than the two of us.
Guy: Did he tell you that I have three corvettes?
Me: No, he didn't mention that.
In Mandy's head: I don't care how many Corvettes you have, you dirty old man. You're older than my mom!
Guy: I also have four boats.
Me: Oh yeah, that's cool.
In Mandy's head: OK dude, quit telling me about your money. That's just tacky, and you're old enough to be my father.
Guy: I gave my son the acre of property next to mine so he could build a house.
Me: Wow, that was nice.
In Mandy's head: What, are you about to tell me..."I'm kind of a big deal."
Guy: Blah, blah, blah. (At this point this is all I hear.)
In Mandy's head: Oh my God, what is this guy saying? All I can think about is old, saggy balls. I bet he doesn't take baths anymore, for fear that his balls will float.
Mandy: Well, I have to be going.
Guy: OK...call me tomorrow?
Mandy: Sure.
In Mandy's head: There is no way in hell I'm calling you tomorrow.

I haven't talked to my friend yet, but make no mistake, he will pay for this!

Until next time...

Mandy