Boys and Bathrooms

This post is going to be completely different than what I usually write. If you know me personally then you know how much I HATE, LOATHE and DETEST toilet humor.

With that being said...

There are three people that work at my company. There are two men and me. We have been open for about 2 1/2 years and, let me tell you, it has been an eye opening experience. Especially when it comes to, duh, duh, duuuuuh, THE BATHROOM.

Let me start by telling you, when I was growing up I never had to share a bathroom with a boy. In my house it was The Mother, The Sister, Me and two female dogs...Gypsy and Cookie. We cleaned the bathroom once a week and that was really the only time the seat got lifted.

Now that I'm older, have lived with a couple of guys and had to share a bathroom with my two coworkers, I have come to the conclusion that men are DISGUSTING BATHROOM PIGS.

Here are some of my complaints...

1. I didn't realize how difficult it was to lift the seat. Seriously, nothing makes me happier than going into the bathroom and having to wipe your piss off the seat!

2. Do I need to give you a scope to put on your penis? How hard is it to aim your "little dude" at the big hole with the happy water?

3. Why is it necessary to shake your dick to get the pee pee off? You know what happens when you shake it...your urine goes all over the lip of the toilet. Why can't you grab a little square of toilet paper and wipe the tip of your member? Please someone explain this one to me!

4. And about the lip of the toilet...you know that toilet paper I was just talking about, could you maybe grab some and wipe the little pee droplets off? Thanks, that would be great!

And my least favorite thing about sharing a bathroom with men...

5. Why can't you flush 'til the bowl is clean? And you know what? It's not just here that I have experienced the scary toilet. The last company I worked for I had to share a bathroom with a big, bunch of men. There was one time that I actually went into the bathroom and came right back out and sat the men in the office down and said, "Look, I don't know whose ass exploded in there, but guess what, I'm not cleaning that up. When I go into the ladies room, the last thing I want to see are skid marks from here to I10! So, y'all either need to change your diet, or learn how to use the little scrub brush next to the toilet, because y'all are just gross."

And guess what? The mothers of the world are not helping! I have friends with little boys that say, "Well, that's little boys." No ma'am. There is no excuse for leaving poo in the toilet, peeing on the floor and bad bathroom etiquette all together.

Oh, and here's another reason I will probably never get married...

I was at the gym the other day and this woman was telling us how she was talking to a girl, that had just gotten married at the laundromat and the girl, while holding a pair of her husband's dirty underwear, said, "Oh wow, I've never had to wash underwear with skid marks in them."

FUCK A BIG, BUNCH OF THAT!

I'm sorry, but if you're old enough to get married, then you're old enough to know how to wipe your own ass! (The only exception is if you hit a deer or something, then I'll give you a free pass. But even then, I think I would probably tell you to either throw them away or wash them yourself.)

Bottom line...Guys, stop being gross in the bathroom!

Until next time...

Mandy