In The Weeds

OK, I think I might have the essence of weed. You read that right, weed as in marijuana, ganja, smoke, grass, pot, etc, etc. It seems as though the only men that are attracted to me come complete with a dime bag and a pipe. Which, is completely bizarre since I've only smoked the weed once, hated it and never did it again.



It all started my senior year in high school...up until then, I was very naive. I honestly believed that there wasn't a drug problem at Channelview High School. Then, I started dating this guy and when I went in his bedroom the first time I saw this weird, vase looking thing. When I inquired about this unusual room decor he looked at me like I was nuts...



Him: That's a bong.
Me: What's a bong?
Him: You smoke weed with it.
Me: YOU SMOKE POT?
Him: Uhhh, yeah.
Me: OK, well I don't want to.
Him: That's fine, I'm not going to make you smoke it.
Me: Good.

So, we dated for like 4 - 6 months, and let me tell you, he and all his friends called me the "Queen of Crib." Every time I went over there, I was immediately sleepy and would just fall asleep, I think it had something to do with the haze that was floating throughout the entire house.

Then there was the boy that lived with me after I graduated...MAJOR pothead. I don't want to go into him...he broke me. (not financially, I was not the same after he and I broke up...I trusted NO ONE!)

Then there was the guy that was a year younger than me. He was 20 and I was 21. He was the guy I smoked the pot with...and I thought I was going to die. I had been around enough pot heads to know the unwritten rule...If it's someone's first time to smoke, don't lace it with anything. People, it was one of the worst experiences of my life. I felt like my face was melting, I couldn't breathe, I was seeing into the future and once I got home...I threw up. Needless to say, I did not get the euphoric feelings that everyone told me I would have. So, after the weed had run it's course I decided that I would never smoke it again.

Luckily, the guy I was with for 6 years didn't smoke the ganja.


Then on to my last ex.


As some of you may remember, I met him at a party. At one point in the evening, he and another guy said, "Uhhh, we're going to the store real quick...we need cigarettes." And I totally believed them. (Apparently, some of that naivety was still hanging around.) Everyone else started laughing, and I was oblivious. It never dawned on me that they came back empty handed. Anyway, I found out later that he smoked. But, he told me that he didn't smoke that often. So, I was like, "OK, every once in a while he'll smoke a little. No big deal." But then he moved into my apartment and brought with him his grocery bag full of weed. I don't think he and I were on the same page when he said he didn't smoke THAT MUCH. It's like that line in Knocked UP..."You don't smoke weed at all, like in the morning?" I told him I didn't like having that much marijuana in my home, but he didn't listen. Then he quit his job, and I told him he was an idiot...there aren't that many jobs anymore that don't drug test. I ended up kicking him, his pot and his pipe out.


And here we are in the present day of Mandy.


Recently, I've kicked around the idea of the online dating thing again. The last time I did it, I had a lot of fun and met some very interesting characters. So, I uploaded about five pictures and did my whole "about me" section. And guess what...I've had several emails sent and a lot of page views and the majority of the men who have looked at me have things like...

1. I quit smoking cigarettes (but I still smoke)
2. *Answering the questions, Do you smoke?* I'll tell you later - which usually means, "I've got a big bag of weed at my house!"
3. I'm 420 friendly!

It's so bad that my friends tease me about it.

I guess I'm a beacon in the night to pot heads...or the lighter to their pipe.

Until next time...

Mandy