A Story for Diana

Back in my early 20's, I was a pretty heavy drinker. (I know, shocking isn't it?) Well, one night my friend Terry and I were on the phone and decided we wanted to go out. But where to go? We decided that we were going to go to the gay bars over off of Montrose. So I got up, got ready and headed over to Terry's house. Once I get there, we decided to make a plan of attack. We were going to start with The Mining Company then head over to JR's then end the night with dancing at Heaven. (For those of you who live in Houston, the mention of the club Heaven should tell you how long ago this was...pre-fire.)

So, we get down there and park on a side street and start walking toward the bars. I have to take a minute to explain the outfit I had on. It was a long, lime green dress with big flowers on it and I wore these platform shoes that have about a 4 inch heel on them. (I am 5'8" barefoot, add 4" to that and that makes me about 6'2".) As we were walking down the residential street, a guy said something to me (I can't remember what he said) but Terry and I both looked at each other and started laughing, apparently the guy thought I was a DRAG QUEEN. I know, awesome, right! So, we get to The Mining Company and have a drink, I was on a massive dirty martini kick back then...I still love them, I just don't drink them as much. We decided there wasn't much going on over there, so we headed over to JR's, I think I drank like 7 or 8 martinis in a very short time frame and I think we did a couple of shots between the drinks. By this time I'm feeling pretty good. Then we decide we are ready to go dancing! Then Terry looks at me and asks, "Have you ever been to Riches?" And I slurred, "No, why?" He then told me that he thought we would have more fun over there. So, off we go to Riches.

Now, while we are driving, I really start to feel the effects of all the vodka I had consumed. I made mention of this to Terry and all we did was laugh. We were on a mission, get drunk and dance into the wee hours of the night. We were well on our way to accomplishing the first half of this mission. (Me more so than him, he told me he would take it easy since he was driving.)

We get to Riches and we walk in the front door and all I can see is the strobe light. I looked at Terry and said, "I've got to get out of here, the strobe light is making me sick." He told me to shut my eyes and he took me by the hand and rushed me through the throngs of people to the outside patio. Once we were out there I opened my eyes, but I still felt sick. I told Terry I needed some water. So he picked me up and sat me in the large planter behind me. He looked around and found this little guy and asked him to watch me while he went to get me some water. The little guy was very sweet. He opened up to me like I was Oprah. He started telling me how he was bisexual and that he hadn't told his girlfriend yet and how she was going to freak out, blah, blah blah. In my drunken stupor, I just looked at him and told him he should tell her, she might take it better than he thinks, and in the end she would be glad that he was honest with her. By this time, Terry is back with a bottle of water. I take a couple of sips and look at him and ask, "Do you think they would be mad if I puked in their planter?" Terry got me out of the planter and walked me to the ladies room, there was one problem...the line for the ladies room was wrapped around the bar. So, Terry assessed the situation and came to the conclusion that we were going to have to go in the men's room. So Terry takes me into a stall, and I assume the throw up position. Picture this, if you will, I am in a dress, on my hands and knees, in a men's room, at a gay bar, puking my guts up...it was not one of my finer moments. Luckily Terry was there holding my hair back. After all the evil was out, I stood up, smoothed my dress out, rinsed my mouth out with the water Terry had bought, wiped the tears and mascara out from under my eyes, looked at Terry and said, "OK, let's go dance!"

The rest of the night, we danced our asses off. And, it's a story we always laugh about when we get together.

Until next time...

Mandy