So, here's the deal.

As you all know, Phillip quit his job about 4 weeks ago and needless to say I was not a happy camper about this. In the 4 weeks since quitting his job he has not even attempted to look for employment. Let me mention that not only was I the only employed person in my humble abode, I was also the one that still did all the cooking and washing clothes...which irritated me. I told him a couple of weeks ago that my biggest fear was that I was going to come home every night and he would be sitting at his drawing table either sculpting something or drawing something and that would be all that he had done all day. Monday was the beginning of the proverbial "straw."

Sunday night, Phillip told me that he was going to cook spaghetti Monday night. So, when I was driving home from work I was thinking, "Woo hoo, dinner is going to be ready when I get home!!!" When I get home, there was no pleasant aroma of spaghetti floating through the apartment. What I did come home to was...HIM SITTING AT HIS DRAWING TABLE WORKING ON A SCULPTURE. So, I was like, OK. I went upstairs to change clothes and noticed a bag sitting on the bed. Like most men, Phillip had a bag of porn, you know, movies, magazines, etc. Now let me first say that porn doesn't bother me in the slightest...I've been known to sit and watch one on occasion, with that being said here's how the conversation started...



Me: Why is the bag of porn out?
Him: Oh, I watched a movie earlier.
Me: Why?
Him: Because there wasn't anything better to do.
(At this point, my head almost exploded.)
Me: Have you seen the clothes that need to be washed, you couldn't have washed them?
Him: Oh, I guess I could have.
Me: yeah
Him: But, I didn't.
Me: no.

So, amazingly enough, I kept my cool and walked back downstairs and wondered when he was going to cook dinner. After about an hour, I realized that if I wanted to eat I was going to have to cook. So, I got up and went in the kitchen and pulled out all of the stuff and he looked up from his sculpting and asked if I needed any help. I just said no. So, while we were eating, he asked me if I wanted to watch Terminator 2. I said, "No, but you are more than welcome to while I take a bath." I had to get away or I was going to take a swan dive off the deep end. So, while I'm in the tub I start thinking, "I wonder if he cleaned the kitchen." I walked downstairs and he wasn't in the kitchen, he was sitting on the couch playing a video game. So, I cleaned the kitchen then I sat on the couch. About 9:00 he looked all mopey and said, "I'm going to go to bed." I looked at him and said, "What's wrong with you?" He looks at me and says, "I just don't know what I'm going to do about a job." I just look at him with a dumbfounded look on my face and ask, "Have you even looked?"

So, Tuesday was my friend Shawn's birthday. I called him to meet for a couple of drinks after work. I called Phillip and told him that I would be late. Most of you know Shawn, but for those of you who don't, Shawn is gay. You are probably wondering what that has to do with the story, don't worry, I'm getting there. So, I got home about 9:30 on Tuesday night, and yes, I was feeling pretty good. So, I sat down and started watching my DVR'ed episode of I Survived a Japanese Game Show. (If you haven't watched this program, you must. And Wipeout comes on right before it on Tuesday night. Both are MUST SEES!) Anyway, Phillip asked me what Shawn and I had talked about and I told him we just BS'ed all night, we didn't really talk about anything. So, I'm sitting on the floor (for some reason I like to sit on the floor when I've been drinking, probably because you can't slide off the floor.) Anyway, all of a sudden, Phillip picks up his wallet and keys and walks out the front door. I get up and stick my head out the door and and ask where he's going.

Him: I'm going to my dad's.
Me: Why?
Him: You mean to tell me you two were together for 4 hours and y'all didn't talk about anything. When I go out you call and ask me when I'm coming home and I didn't even call you once.
Me: What are you talking about?
Him: I'm leaving.
Me: Fine, Bye!

So, once I was in the apartment, I did what any half-drunk woman whose boyfriend just stormed out of the house for no reason would do. I called my best friend, Terra. She came to my house, I had a slight boo hoo fest then she took me to get beer. Once I got back I started packing up all of his things and stacking it all in the living room. I think she left the house around 1:30a and I think I finally got to sleep around 2a. The next morning I called my boss and told him what was going on and explained that I couldn't come in. I guess Phillip got home around 10a on Wednesday morning when he walked in the door he saw all of his stuff and said, "So, I guess I'm out of here." I asked him what he wanted me to do. I told him a long time ago I would not support him and here he was going on a month of being unemployed and had yet to even look for something. So, he called his brother and he brought their dad's truck and got all of his stuff. He looked at me and said, "Well, maybe Shawn can move in now." What the fuck is that? Why would Shawn want to move in to my house??? Anyway, once he got all of his things out, all he said was, "See ya around, sorry it didn't work out." And that was it, the door closed and I was standing in my apartment by myself. Looking back, there were a lot of things that were leading up to this.

1. Quitting his job.
I know this is going to sound ridiculous, but I kind of looked at this as a notch above cheating on me. It's like a breakdown of trust. He did something that didn't just effect him, it effected me too and he didn't even talk to me about it first. What I thought didn't matter.

2. He drank every night.
Now, I don't want to sound like a hypocrite, because I drink. But, there was not one night that he didn't have at least 3 or 4 beers.

3. His brother.
They have a very strange sibling relationship, I think it's borderline sick. They can't do anything without the other. His brother is the reason he quit his job. That's when I realized I came a distant third in his life. His brother and another factor, that I won't get into here, ran a close neck and neck race. And I'm sorry, but when you tell someone you want to marry them, they should be one of your top priorities.

4. The man that moved out of my house on Wednesday was not the same man that I met at Terra and Lyndon's house in December. The man that I met back then was self-assured, had goals and seemed to have some drive about him. The man that moved out, was anything but those things.

It's sad, but I'll be okay. I want to say thank you to all of you that have sent me mental hugs and happy thoughts. I'm going out with Latischia this evening. So, if you're out in the Clear Lake area this evening...please watch out, Latischia's boyfriend is out of town and I am newly single...nothing good could come of this.

Until next time...

Amanda