I SUCK

At least according to my mother yesterday. Her exact words, "God, when are you going to post something new? I go look at your blog everyday and each time I see My Eyes! and that's boring Mandy. You suck!"

I just haven't felt like writing much. But, I'm trying not to suck, so here you go...

THE BANGS

On March 7, I decided to go and get my bangs trimmed. I would normally go and see Mindy, but I thought to myself, "I don't want to drive the 12 miles to Mindy's house, I'll just go to that salon next door that has that sign in the window VOTED BEST OF THE BAY 2008! (And, it's right next to the place where I get my eyebrows waxed. So, I figured I could kill two birds with one stone.) I mean, it's just bangs." Oh how wrong I was. I walked in and told the lady, I just need my bangs trimmed. When I sat in the chair, I told her, "I like the to be the shape of Bettie Page, but right above my eyebrows." I also informed her that I have naturally curly hair. So, I was a little worried when she pulled out the water bottle and sprayed down the front of my hair. But, I figured she went to school for this and I didn't, so she must know what she's doing. Then, she takes my beloved bangs and pulls them all together, twists them and then cuts right above her fingers. As soon as she removes her hand to throw the defenseless hair on the floor, my hand immediately covers my mouth while I'm gasping.

Mandy: What did you do?
Stupid Salon Lady: You said Bettie Page.
Mandy: I said SHAPE of Bettie Page.
SSL: Bettie Page's bangs were really short.
Mandy: (As Mandy starts crying) Bettie Page's bangs were longer than an inch from her hairline! I LOOK LIKE BABY HUEY!
SSL: No you don't.
Mandy: (Still crying) You're right, I look like the love child of Baby Huey and a basketball!
SSL: Well, there's nothing I can do about it now...I can't make them longer.
(This bitch just fucked up my hair, then wants to get attitude with me because I'm upset. What is up with that?)
Mandy: (Sobbing) TOMORROW IS MY BIRTHDAY AND I HAVE PEOPLE COMING IN TOWN!
At this point the bitch doesn't have anything to say.
Mandy: Are we done here?
SSL: Yes.

I get up and walk to the front desk and ask the little girl at reception, "How much do I owe y'all for this?" and I point to my head. She looks at me and says, "Nothing." Then, I storm out of the salon. Oh, by the way, the name of the salon is Untangled. DON'T GO THERE!

I was tempted to just go home, but then I realized that the curtains were up on my forehead, I HAD to get my eyebrows waxed. At this point, I'm no longer sobbing...just crying and I walk in and tell the lady, "I need my eyebrows waxed." So, they take me to the back room and I tell her that I probably need my lip done too. (What can I say, I'm a brunette and part German...there's nothing I can do. At least I'm taking care of it and not walking around the city of Houston with a Foo Man Choo!) Anyway, I lay down on the table and the lady starts brushing little hairs off my face.

Waxing Lady: (In a very thick Asian accent) You get haircut?
Mandy: (Starts sobbing again) Yes, I just got a really bad haircut!
WL: Don't worry, I make you beautiful!
Mandy: OK.
She starts applying the wax and ripping it off.
WL: You got lot hair on you face.
Mandy: (Sniffling) Really...
WL: It blonde, but it lot.
Mandy thinking: My hair looks like ass and apparently I'm a hairy beast!
I start sobbing again.
WL: I was off for you, I make you beautiful!
Mandy: OK (sniff, sniff)
**Lots of waxing going on here and I continue to cry.
WL: OK, you done.
Mandy: OK, thanks.

I pay for my face waxing and leave. As I'm driving home, I call my mother. And I should mention that I'm crying so hard at this point that I am borderline hyperventilating.

Mandy: MOM!
Mom: Mandy, what's wrong?
Mandy: MY HAIR!
Mom: What? Mandy, you're going to have to calm down, I can't understand you.
Mandy: I went to get my bangs cut and they fucked my hair up!
Mom: Oh no, what did they do.
Mandy: YOU CAN FIT THREE FINGERS BETWEEN THE TOP OF MY EYEBROWS AND THE BOTTOM OF MY BANGS.
Mom: Oh my God.
Mandy: I LOOK HORRIBLE.
Mom: It's going to be OK, it just hair it will grow out.
Mandy: CAN YOU COME GET ME, I NEED TO GO AND BUY SOME HATS.
Mom: Yeah, I'll be over there in a minute.

So, I walk in my house and go look in the bathroom mirror, that's when I get the full view of my day of beauty. The left side of my bangs came down below my eye, the right side came down almost to the corner of my eye and the middle barely covered my widow's peak. My eyebrows looked really good. But, apparently, the sides of my face had some sort of reaction to the wax and I had little bumps forming on my jaw line. So, when I woke up on March 8, the day of my birth, I looked in the mirror and figured out what I looked like.

A four year old, who found a pair of scissors and cut her own hair who has acne. Happy 33 birthday to me!

Actually, my birthday turned out to be pretty awesome. My mom did come and pick me up the day before and I bought some really cute hats. Not just that, but my best friend growing up came in town from Austin so we could celebrate our birthdays together. (Hers was on the 14th.) If you would like to read about the birthday celebration, go check out Laura's blog...it includes pictures. Oh, and look at my hat...it's pretty cute.

Until next time...

Mandy