Day 5 of 30

I decided that I would weigh and measure every Friday...I would rather do that on Fridays rather than Mondays because Friday is before the weekend when you are more likely to drink and eat things that probably aren't the best choices in the world.

So, I got home this evening, but on my boxer shorts and tank, pulled out my measuring tape then stepped on the scale and you know what I found out...

Apparently, Jillian knows what she's doing.

Weight: -3.8 lbs
Bust: 0
Waist: 0
Hips: -.5"
Thigh: - 1.5"
Arm: -1.5"

I couldn't believe in just 5 days I had actually lost weight and inches! Especially since I haven't really modified my diet all that much. I've tried to make better choices...I went to Wendy's the other day and ordered the Grilled Chicken Sandwich and substituted the french fries with a side salad, but I've also had Mexican food and donut holes.

After 5 days the workout still hurts, although, it's getting a little bit easier day by day.

These results have made me excited to continue this challenge, hopefully next week I can report more body reductions!

Until next time...

Mandy

Day 4 of 30

Didn't want to do it, did it anyway...YAY ME!

Can't write much...The Guy (I tend to call him the boyfriend-type person) is here and we're watching the Olympics.

Until next time...

Mandy

Day 3 of 30

I really didn't want to workout tonight. This is usually what happens when I start working out, I do it for a couple of days and then I'm like screw it, I want to sit on my couch, watch TV and eat some cheetos. But, I didn't do that. I made myself put on my workout wear...boxer shorts (the best thing about doing workout videos), tank top and tennis shoes. I turned on my TV and DVD player and Jillian and I started working out. Like I've said before, this video is only 20 minutes long...

Warm up
6 minutes of strength training
2 minutes of cardio
1 minute of abs
Repeat 3 times
Cool Down

So, about halfway through I look at the clock and think to myself...ok, you can do this, just 10 more minutes.

In just three workouts I have come to realize there are some pros and cons of trying to workout in your home

Pros:
1. I can wear boxer shorts and no one sees me.
2. I don't have an audience watching me sweat and breathe like James Gandolfini.
3. I can immediately collapse on my big, comfy couch.
4. I don't have to change clothes or shower in a communal locker room.

Cons:
1. My apartment sits 6' off the ground, so when I jump it makes everything vibrate.
2. My apartment is approximately the size of a shoebox, so I have to rearrange my living room every time I want to work out.
3. When I do jumping jacks or simulate jumping rope, I have to make sure Rogen isn't in the way...I would hate to squish him in my quest for fitness.
4. When I lay on the floor to do the ab sections, Rogen thinks this is the optimum time to lick my face, arms, and hands. So, while I'm trying to catch my breath and do crunches, I'm also saying, "No, Rogen." "Quit licking, Rogen." "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD...GO GET ON THE COUCH, ROGEN!" And then I feel bad for yelling at my little boy.

So far, three days in I'm pretty sore, but I also feel pretty good.

27 more days to go!

Until next time...

Mandy

Day 2 of 30

Day 2 hurts! That's all I really have to say about tonight's workout.

I do want to say, I really like this Jillian Michaels person. I have never seen The Biggest Loser, I have heard that she's really mean, almost bitchy. You know what I like about her...she tells it like it is. She doesn't try to make working out sound light and fluffy.

She says things like...

I know it hurts, but work through it that's when your body is changing.

You're fine, you can do it.

You can't get great abs by doing 5 crunches and stopping!

I appreciate her straight forward honesty.

Thank you Jillian...if I'm not dead after the next 28 days, I just might buy another one of your DVDs!

Until next time...

Mandy

Day 1 of 30

Last week I posted that I was challenging myself to workout for at least 30 minutes a day for 30 days.

Saturday, I was out with Latischia looking at Bridesmaid dresses and tasting cakes. I told her about my quest for fitness and that is when she told me that she had been doing this workout video by Jillian Michaels from The Biggest Loser, called The Thirty Day Shred. I thought to myself, that sounds perfect! The only problem, the video is only 20 minutes with a two minute warm up and two minute cool down. I thought to myself, "Fuck it, it's my challenge...if I want to change it a bit, it's totally fine." So, my challenge now is to complete 30 days of level one of The Thirty Day Shred.

Last night I went and bought a scale for my home and the video.

When I got home this evening I stepped on the scale and I think I heard it go AHHHHHH! Then I took my measurements

Weight: A LOT!
Bust: Pretty Big
Waist: Not small, although smaller than my waist and hips.
Thigh: Roughly the size of a tree trunk.
Hips: GIGUNDO!

I popped the DVD in and started my first workout. All I have to say is, Jillian Michaels is Evil! My legs are a little shaky, my arms feel like noodles, and who knew that I had abdominal muscles.

Day 1 down, 29 more days to go.

Until next time...

Mandy

A Challenge

I have recently been reading a blog written by a girl I went to high school with. Actually, we started out in preschool together. Just like so many classmates, we lost touch until the advent of myspace and facebook. We don't regularly comment on each other's posts , but one day I saw that she posted a link to a new blog she started called 30 Minutes for 30 Days. I thought to myself, "Wow, that's awesome! Maybe I should try that." So, that is what I intend to do.

Starting Monday, February 15, 2010, I will start my 30 in 30. I plan on following her same plan...

30 minutes of exercise a day for 30 days straight, and if I miss a workout, I will make it up with an added 2 days to the challenge.

I've stated here before that I hate, loathe and detest working out, so this is a huge challenge for me. What normally happens is I start, go about 2 days then I'm all...Fuck a big, bunch of this, I'm needing some couch time! So, I plan on posting a blog after every workout, just to keep me honest. You know they say it takes 21 days to form a habit, so you never know, maybe this will be the beginning of a new thing for me. (It could happen, I doubt it, but it could.)

Wish me luck!

Until next time...

Mandy

Anonymous

I love blogging. Really I do. It's hard to tell here lately, because there has been lulls between my posts. And, like most bloggers, I LOVE getting comments. I like hearing other people's point of view, especially when they differ from my own. I even like the mean, anonymous comments. Usually they just make me laugh. But none have made me laugh harder than the comments on a post from a year ago...Swagga Like Us.

I'm not sure if y'all remember this post or not, but basically it was the lyrics to this song and my thoughts and questions regarding the wording. I haven't posted anything since that has made people that I don't know so mad. Here are the three comments...

Rico said...
Dude, you got far too much time on your hands.Jealousy is a cruel possession to hold. Don't be hating on these Rap stars with a better lifestyle than you could dream up.Get off the internet and do something with yourself whilst you still have time.Peace.
April 8, 2009 4:39 PM

Here is my response to Rico.

Amanda said...
First of all, Rico, I'm not "hating" on anyone. As for having too much time on my hands...you, apparently, had time to read the whole post and leave me a comment. (Thanks for the comment, by the way.) This post was mostly satire. But, the lyrics make no sense. If they make sense to you, please explain it to me. When I say I HATE Kanye West, that is based on his rants about how he should have won awards, George W. Bush hates black people, etc...Lil Wayne, sorry, not impressed with him either. And, as far as lifestyle, I'm pretty happy with my life. I have said this before, this is my blog, if you don't like what I have to say, please don't visit again. My opinion of this song...IT SUCKS!Peace, dude.
April 8, 2009 5:24 PM

Anonymous said...
girl u fucking dumb he means pilgrims because they travel to places and he's saying he's christopher columbus cuz he descovered it meaning he created swagg and who da fuck are you to judge this song if u cant understand it shut up but dont bitch about !!!! fuck i hate when ppl comment on other peoples song why dont you try doing it ohhh and by the way hip hop is based on the hood and in the hood ayo is a word u dumb fuck
May 26, 2009 10:40 PM

Anonymous said...
wow.!!!(u pissing me dah fuk off( that means im mad) if u dont like diz sonq, dont listen 2 it.. y u correctin their grammer ..u an ass!!! rapperz arent stupid..hello!!! dey juz talk like dat cuz dey feel like it, in dah hood we dont give uh fuck so juz stick 2 ur country or rock music u white dumb bitch!!!
February 7, 2010 9:37 PM

All I have to say is WOW! Like I stated in my response to Rico, this post was mainly satirical. As most of you know from most of my posts I make fun of everything, mainly myself. When I posted this particular blog, I had no idea that it would be so controversial. I am making no apologies for posting this particular blog...I just thought y'all would find it as amusing as I did.

You know what I don't understand...all of these people are pissed off that I was making fun of the way these gentlemen speak. But, you know what, I have a very thick southern accent...people make fun of the way I speak all the time. I don't get upset and tell people to fuck off. People are just too sensitive.

So, here's a big THANK YOU! to all my people that comment...even the anonymous ones that are calling me a stupid white bitch. Y'all all bring a smile to my face.

Until next time...

Mandy

My Anaconda Don't Want None...

I have a big butt. I've always had a big butt. I've come to grips with the fact that I will never have the cute, little, heart-shaped, white girl butt. The one good thing I will say about my butt is that it is more bubble than wide. Friends in school would always joke that they could balance a coke can on my ass when I was standing up.

Here is a picture for proof that I have always had a round ass.






<------See right there, that is not my skirt in motion...my ass is making it poke out like that.

This picture, as you can see, was taken in 1994, my senior year in high school. This is the best shape I have ever been in. And, if you notice, I was not a little girl. I have ALWAYS been curvy.

Now, on to my point... Wednesday night, I was at The Guy's house after work. We were in his bedroom, laying on his bed. The bedroom door was open so there was light shining in, creating shadows of us on the wall. I was laying on my stomach and for some reason turned my head to the left and caught a glimpse of my butt shadow...

Mandy: OH MY GOD! MY BUTT IS THAT BIG!

The Guy: You've got a pretty big butt.

Mandy: I knew that it was big, but I had no idea it was that gigundo!

The Guy: I like your butt.

Mandy: It looks like Mount Everest!

The Guy: Shadows make everything look bigger, (holding up is hand) look how big my hand looks.

Mandy: Seriously, it looks like my ass should have a snow cap!

The Guy brings his hand down and slaps me on the ass.

Mandy: OH MY GOD...NOW IT LOOKS LIKE A JELLO JIGGLER MOLD OF MT. EVEREST!

The Guy: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA


Looks like it's time to get my ass working out again. BLECHHH!



Until next time...

Mandy

A beautifully woven thread

I thought I would post my facebook status from yesterday and the thread that followed. Pretty funny stuff!

Amanda: was reading an article on the many uses of Bag Balm and has decided that "salve" and "ointment" are two of the grossest sounding words ever. They're not as bad as fart, which is the most disgusting word ever, but they're pretty close!
Yesterday at 12:22pm Only Friends · Comment ·LikeUnlike

Khon: You said fart. Hehehe...
Yesterday at 12:37pm ·

Richard: Fart, Fart, Fart! Lmao
Yesterday at 12:44pm ·

Amanda: I NEVER use that word. It's ugly and tacky.
Yesterday at 12:52pm ·

Khon: what word?
Yesterday at 12:54pm ·

Amanda: You know what word. :P
Yesterday at 12:56pm ·

Khon: Oh, the word that Richard said three times! Hehehehe....
Yesterday at 1:06pm ·

Amanda: That would be the one! I don't know why it bothers me so much. I think it has something to do with when I was growing up we were not allowed to say it because it was an "ugly, tacky word." Whenever anyone says it around me I just cringe.
Yesterday at 1:10pm ·

Khon: Flagellations makes people laugh. :)
Yesterday at 1:18pm ·

Amanda: Not me...Toilet humor makes me sad. :(
Yesterday at 1:24pm ·

Jerry: Fart, Fart, Fart, Fart, Fart, Fart.
Yesterday at 1:38pm ·

Khon: Tehehehe...
Yesterday at 1:42pm ·

Jerry: Does ripping ass sound better??
Yesterday at 1:43pm ·

Amanda: Jerry Wayne, you're gross! Why do you feel the need to torment me???
Yesterday at 1:47pm ·

Jerry: Just asking a simple question
Yesterday at 1:48pm ·

Khon: Y'all are cracking me up! I'm sorry Amanda.
Yesterday at 1:49pm ·

Richard: That's a good one JW!
Yesterday at 1:50pm ·

Jerry: Fart: The sound of a turd honking for the right of way.....
Yesterday at 1:51pm ·

Richard: Roflmao!
Yesterday at 1:53pm ·

Amanda: I'm about to go all Nancy Kerrigan on you...WHHHHHYYYYYY!!!
Yesterday at 1:54pm ·

Jerry: Salve: The ointment used to relieve the the irritation of problematic farting.
Yesterday at 1:55pm ·

Amanda: The word turd is just as gross. Why are boys so easily amused with bodily functions? I don't get it.
Yesterday at 1:55pm ·

Khon: OMG Jerry, you're suicidal! LOL!
Yesterday at 1:59pm ·

Amanda: Thank you, Jerry. You single handedly used three of the most disgusting sounding words in one sentence. Impressive my friend!
Yesterday at 2:00pm ·

Jerry: I am here to help
Yesterday at 2:01pm ·

Eric: how about the word moist?? M O I S T
Yesterday at 2:09pm ·

Amanda: Oddly enough, moist doesn't bother me.
Yesterday at 2:11pm ·

Amanda: Let me rephrase that last comment...Moist by itself doesn't bother me; however, moist used in conjunction with Fart, Turd, Salve or Ointment just makes the grossness of those words multiply by 10.
Yesterday at 2:15pm ·

Khon: Hahahaha!
Yesterday at 2:18pm ·

Eric: so, a moist turd, a moist fart, an moist salve, and an über-moist ointment walk into a bar....
Yesterday at 2:31pm ·

Khon: I hope they don't walk into my bar!
Yesterday at 2:35pm ·

Amanda: Thank you, Eric. I am now dry heaving. :P
Yesterday at 2:36pm ·

Eric: it was the ümlaut wasn't it? It tends to trigger the gag reflex.
Yesterday at 2:53pm ·

Amanda: Exactly, although, I don't think uber is used quite enough!
Yesterday at 2:57pm ·

David: I don't know but the word dribble always makes me laugh. mucus, flem, pus, nose fruit, those are disturbing.
Yesterday at 7:49pm ·

Amanda: Thank you for those mental images, Uncle David! If anyone could outgross Jerry and Eric, I knew it would be you!
Yesterday at 8:08pm ·

Khon: You have woven a mighty fine thread young lady.
Yesterday at 8:09pm ·

Amanda: Ya know, Khon, I do what I can. I'm glad I could entertain you boys today!
Yesterday at 8:10pm ·

Terra: thank you for the entertainment. I think i just pissed my pants laughing!!!!!!!
10 hours ago ·

Bronson: ha ha - you almost had me until you said "reading"
8 hours ago ·

Bronson: FART
8 hours ago ·

If I've said it once, I've said it a million times...BOYS ARE GROSS!

Until next time...

Mandy

Art is not always pretty

Wednesday night, I went Krogering at my neighborhood Kroger grocery store. I went in and picked up a few things and as I was walking out, I noticed something on the side of my car. Let me first tell you that my car is FILTHY! Seriously, I washed my car once and Terra looked at it and said, "Your car is gray!?!? I always thought it was brown." And she wasn't being sarcastic, it was just that dirty. The inside isn't much better. Anyway, back to my story...

I walked up to my vehicle and some jackass wrote in the grime, "Wash Me." I had been at The Guy's house earlier that evening, so I rolled my eyes and thought to myself, "ha ha, very funny, honey." Then as I was getting in my car, I noticed something on the hood. At first glance it looked like someone had drawn a heart in the dirt and grime. I thought to myself, "Awww, how sweet, he used the dirt to say something nice." Upon further inspection, I realized...no, this isn't a heart...THAT'S A PENIS! AND A MISSHAPEN PENIS AT THAT! So, I picked up my phone and called the guy...

Me: Before I totally lose my shit, I need to ask you a question.
The Guy: OK, what?
Me: Did you happen to write wash me on the door of my car and then draw a weird looking penis on the hood?
The Guy: Uhhh, no, why?
Me: Because that's what I found on my vehicle when I walked out of Kroger.
The Guy: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Me: It's not funny...why would someone draw on a complete stranger's car?
The Guy: HAHAHAHAHAAHAHA...
Me: Ugghhh, whatever!

I would never touch someone else's car, let alone someone that I didn't know. It was probably some jackass teenager.

Until next time...

Mandy