Saturday night I had to work with the Alumni Association at the Fall Festival at my old high school. Nothing says AWESOME SATURDAY NIGHT like working at a face painting booth having to touch little kid faces all night. I don't mind touching kid faces that I know, but kids that I don't know...well, I just don't enjoy it. I don't have any kids, therefore, I'm not around them all that much so my immune system is not that of someone with little ones and as you all know it is cold and flu season. There was a lot of snot Saturday night. Yuck! Luckily it was not me that was painting the face of the little boy that threw up all over himself while the painting was going on. Thank God it was one of the members with kids, she handled it quite well...if it would have been me, there would have been a chain reaction of puke. So, since the projectile vomiting had already happened, I figured that that was the worst thing that was going to happen. I WAS WRONG!!! I was sitting in my chair and asked the next little girl, dressed as a princess to sit down. Her mother was a woman that I graduated with, I can't remember her name, she looked me right in the face and said...
"When are you due?"
I looked at her with total and complete disbelief and politely screamed, "WHAT! I'M NOT PREGNANT, DO I LOOK PREGNANT???" She looked at me and started crawfishing. She stammered, "Uh, nnnooo, I thought I heard you say you were pregnant." I looked at her and said, "NO, I'M NOT!" I finished her little girl's face and sent them on their way, and I know she felt the knives flying from my eyes into her back. But she didn't turn around. Now, I've explained that I am not a stick figure, but Idon't think I look pregnant. My boobs stick out way farther than my stomach does. So, here's a little tid bit of advice, if you ever look at a woman and she looks like she's about to pop, not even then is OK to ask when she is due. But, I'm sure you all know this already.
Until next time...
Single Girl
Monday, October 29, 2007
The question women never want to hear.
Posted by Amanda at 5:02 PM
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2 comments:
I don't think you look pregnant!!! What a dumb ho!
I know how feel though. Hard to believe, huh? A couple of years ago, I was wearing one of those slightly A-line type of shirts before they came back into popularity recently. I was in the restroom washing my hands, and the cleaning woman asked me when I was due. Granted, I was a little heavier than I am now, but in NO WAY did I even remotely look pregnant either. I wanted to take her mop and shove it... well... somewhere not in the least bit pleasant.
You should have painted, "My momma's a dumbass" on her daughter's face...hehehe
I've got an uncanny sense of when a woman is pregnant...but I'm still intelligent enough to never actually say anything until they mention it to me first.
I've got one for you though...try asking a woman, who's had a hysterectomy, when she plans on having children with her husband. The reaction is...well...justified.
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