I said last week that I was hoping something exciting would happen this weekend that I could post about. Well, nothing happened.
But...
I was sitting at Denny's with The Mother and I looked at her and said, "I don't know if I ever want to get married."
When I was little, like most little girls, I dreamed about my "Perfect Wedding." I just KNEW that when the day came for me to walk down the aisle, I would have my "pretty pretty princess" wedding. I would get married in December, most likely on the 22nd since that was my grandparents anniversary, it would be in a church covered in poinsettas and my bride's maids would be in red dresses. Doodlebug would be my Matron of Honor along with Hoochie, Slut Puppy and Mother of Three. Paw Paw would walk me down the aisle and The Brother would marry the guy and me. Sounds pretty huh? Well, now that I am older and submerged in reality, I have started to think...maybe marriage is not in store for me. I always thought that people that were married were happy and in love. I always thought that there was someone out there for everyone. I truly believed that when you met the person that you were supposed to be with, you just knew it. (I was a total hopeless romantic...can you tell?) Now that I've gotten older, I have become jaded, I've actually got the nickname "The Ice Queen." I have watched friends get married and get divorced. My married friends tell me about their relationships and most of the time what they tell me is not good. One friend says that she and her husband are more like roommates than husband and wife, another one's husband is always giving utlimatums, another one can't stand her husband and to top it all off my sister, who I thought had the most wonderful husband of them all, is getting divorced. I have a total distrust of men. When a man tells me anything good; you look nice, wow you're hot, you're beautiful, I say thank you but in my head I'm thinking, "Wow, you're full of shit!" When I date someone, I can't help but think, "When's this one going to leave?" Or better yet, when things start getting hard, I turn and run. I think I'm my own worst enemy.
Here's a question that I'm going to throw out into the blogosphere...
Why is it that when our grandparents were in their early twenties, they would meet someone, date the person for like 4 months, get married and they would end up celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. But now, we are in our late 20's early 30's, we date someone for a couple of years, live with them, then get married and the divorce rate is over half. Could someone please explain this to me.
Until next time...
Single Girl
Monday, November 12, 2007
Marriage
Posted by Amanda at 6:16 PM
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
Wow, could you open a bigger can of worms?
I think that a lot of what kept our grandparents together...but screws up relationships now, is the expectations we have going into it.
Our grandparents, in many cases, really only hoped to find someone they could manage to get along with. They speak of love and all of that, but most of them didn't have a fairytale idea of marriage, and so weren't disappointed, like most of our peers are, when things weren't perfect.
I think that now most men and women in the back of their minds are contemplating that the grass is always greener somewhere in the distance, they are never truly satisfied with what they have, I agree with you however my grandparents didn't have the nice happy ever after my nan ran off with someone else leaving eight children behind. I have gone from NEVER wanting marriage as a child to thinking I did, and now thinking what the feck was I thinking most men and women are just not cut out for relationships let alone marriage. I do get lonely but I can deal with that (sometimes) I think I'll stick with shoes they don't answer back, they love you and look GREAT, I'm far to difficult a person to think anyone would or could put up with me, so marriage is deffo out the question.
Wow, indeed! I agree with sublimeenigma that people of that generation were less overloaded with the fairytales of rainbows, unicorns, and happy endings as we are. My opinion (for what it's worth) is that we are a much more selfish generation (don't think I necessarily mean that in a bad way) who wonders, "what do i get out of this deal?", "I should get EXACTLY what I want out of this relationship", "I deserve a man who makes more than me or can support me", or "I don't want to quit my life, career, and personal activities to start a family." Not saying those types of people didn't exist then, but they are definitely at no shortage nowadays.
The older generations mostly thought of how they can make their way and support their families. Times change and people as a society change. I don't think it's wrong to be a bit selfish because I am myself, but it leaves more room for skepticism and less compromise. I think it's harder for our generation to succumb to a true "give and take" relationship because the average marrying age is getting older as well...meaning we're all much more set in our ways than the young naive kids getting married right after high school back then.
It's all trial and error. If we want to find love, we have to risk our necks...and our prides...for it. It all comes down to whether we're willing to do that and work hard at keeping it. Some people are, some people aren't. I see no wrong in either.
Post a Comment