F is for Fetish

I think my love of Bettie Page has given me a fetish aura. Now not only are the freaks and weirdos contacting me, but people with not so common fetishes are sending me emails.

Want proof, here ya go...

Bachelor #1:

I receive an email from a guy that sounded pretty normal. He owns some sort of company that does accounting services for small companies, he's pretty cute and he was very nice. So, I decided to give him my phone number.

After we exchange pleasantries, the conversation took an odd turn.

Him: So, you're 5'8"?
Me: Well, between 5'8" and 5'9".
Him: Wow, that's awesome.
Me: Really?
Him: Yeah, I'm 5'9"
Me: Well, at least you're taller than me.
Him: Yeah, unless you wear 4" heels.
Me: Well, I do have some shoes that put me right at 6'.
Him: That would be amazing. I would love to meet you with 3-4" heels on.
Me: You would want me to be towering over you?
Him: Absolutely.
Me: Hmmm, do you have an amazon fetish?
Him: Actually, yeah, a little.
Me: I bet you like Wonder Woman, don't you?
Him: Yeah, but who doesn't?
Me: That's true, I have a picture of me when I was little in Wonder Woman underoos and white go go boots. I thought I WAS Wonder Woman.
Him: Do you have any of you dressed as Wonder Woman now?
Me: Ummmm, no.
Him: That's a shame.
Me: Okay. I don't think they make underoos for adults.
Him: They should.
Me: Alrighty then.

I've always been self-conscious of my height. On the one hand, it would be pretty cool to go out with someone who loves tall women. On the other hand, I'm not into playing dress up in the boudoir...and it kind of sounds like he would want me to find a golden lasso of some sort.

Bachelor #2:

Sends me an email that says hello and asks if it would be possible for us to exchange yahoo messenger addresses. I've said before, I'll give my IM address to anyone...case in point, Monkey Boy. (Who, by the way, still messages me. He'll always say things like, "I miss you, love." I just ignore them now.) When I sent this man my yahoo thing, I did something that I never do...I didn't' look at his profile first.

So, we IM back and forth for a little bit, then I think..."Hmmm, maybe I should go check out his profile." So, there he is and he's pretty cute, but then I get to the section that says, "Most private thing I'm willing to admit." And I start reading it and this is what it says...

I'm attracted to women with ugly toenails, preferably those with toenail fungus.

yeah, that gasp that you just let out...multiply that by 100 and you will probably get my response.

Actually, he's really nice...but I'm sorry, I'm not letting my go of my pedicures and tromping around in the mud to try to catch toenail fungus for anyone!

I have a theory on fetishes...what's weird to one person is totally normal to someone else. That's why it's hard for me to answer the sex question that all men ask, "What's the weirdest thing you've ever done?" Because if I answer this, Missionary Guy might be repulsed and Adult Baby Diaper Guy might look at me and say, "That's it?"

Here's my thing, I don't care what you do behind closed doors...as long as you're not harming children, animals or the elderly, have at it and go enjoy yourself. But, baby diapers and toenail fungus, not interested...hope you find what you're looking for. Who knows, maybe I could do Wonder Woman...now where did I put my golden lasso???

Until next time...

Mandy