A Letter to Electricity

This was posted in the "Power Gripes" section of the Chronicle online today. It made me laugh, so I thought I would share it with you...

A guy in the Kingwood area who is struggling with not having his power back on, wrote this humorous letter to "Electricity"

Dear Electricity,

I know we have had our ups and downs, and our relationship has been rocky over the last few years. I realize now that I have made some mistakes in our relationship. Recently I have ignored you and haven't given you the respect you deserve at all.

When we built out new home I used gas furnaces, water heaters, ranges, pool heaters, and even a gas clothes dryer. I never consider your feelings and how this broke your heart. I have abused our relationship and I'm sorry. I know that I haven't been there for you lately. You send me mail once a month and I didn't even appreciate it. I feel guilty now that I treated you the way I did. When I would got your mail each month it would put me in a bad mood. Never did I take into consideration that you may leave me forever. I know you heard me yell at the kids, and the wife about messing with the thermostat and leaving lights on, and I never took into consideration how badly I was hurting your feelings.

I have taken you for granted, you have been with me all of my life and I have never once told you how much I loved you, or appreciated you. Then when I discovered that you had left me in the middle of a horrible storm I became angry much like a jilted lover. I immediately turned to a very abusive lover for comfort, and it was your arch enemy. The natural gas generator. Generator means nothing to me, and has treated me like crap. He complains when I run more than one air conditioner at a time. He complains if we run the washing machine. He complains if we use the plasma. He just gripes all the time. The worst thing about Generator is that he is an addict. He drinks natural gas like its water, and I am growing concerned that his addiction will destroy this family. You electricity are part of this family, and we want you to come home. We miss you dearly. Our heart yearns for your comfort.

Electricity, remember the good times. We grew up together. Remember when we went to my grandpas farm and I touched the fence and you bit me? Man was I mad. But boy is it a funny story now. You were with me on all the important Christmas' when the Atari came and I plugged into the wall. The Nintendo, the Play Station, the X box. You were even there when I was a gangly teenage boy playing on the computer all night (and doing other things that are our secret). Then you went off to college with me. Boy we had fun didn't we, and we snuggled in that electric blanket on those cold nights. You were with me in my first apartment, and even when I purchased my first home. You stood by me when I married and a few years later when the bouncing baby boy came. You were even there for my first fathers day, when I was surprised with an electric razor, and an electric leaf blower. Boy did we have fun with those!! Please come home electricity. I can change. I will change. I will be the man you always knew I could be. This family misses you dearly.

I am going to recite some lyrics to a song that makes me think of you in closing. Maybe these words will remind you of how much I really do love you!!
Maybe I didn't treat you
Quite as good as I should have
Maybe I didn't love you
Quite as often as I could have
Little things I should have said and done
I just never took the time

You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind

Maybe I didn't hold you
All those lonely, lonely times
And I guess I never told you
I'm so happy that you're mine
If I made you feel second best
Girl I'm so sorry I was blind

You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind

Tell me, tell me that your sweet love hasn't died
Give me, give me one more chance to keep you satisfied

Little things I should have said and done
I just never took the time

You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind

I was entertained by it, hope you were too!

Until next time...

Mandy