Wednesday night, I went Krogering at my neighborhood Kroger grocery store. I went in and picked up a few things and as I was walking out, I noticed something on the side of my car. Let me first tell you that my car is FILTHY! Seriously, I washed my car once and Terra looked at it and said, "Your car is gray!?!? I always thought it was brown." And she wasn't being sarcastic, it was just that dirty. The inside isn't much better. Anyway, back to my story...
I walked up to my vehicle and some jackass wrote in the grime, "Wash Me." I had been at The Guy's house earlier that evening, so I rolled my eyes and thought to myself, "ha ha, very funny, honey." Then as I was getting in my car, I noticed something on the hood. At first glance it looked like someone had drawn a heart in the dirt and grime. I thought to myself, "Awww, how sweet, he used the dirt to say something nice." Upon further inspection, I realized...no, this isn't a heart...THAT'S A PENIS! AND A MISSHAPEN PENIS AT THAT! So, I picked up my phone and called the guy...
Me: Before I totally lose my shit, I need to ask you a question.
The Guy: OK, what?
Me: Did you happen to write wash me on the door of my car and then draw a weird looking penis on the hood?
The Guy: Uhhh, no, why?
Me: Because that's what I found on my vehicle when I walked out of Kroger.
The Guy: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Me: It's not funny...why would someone draw on a complete stranger's car?
The Guy: HAHAHAHAHAAHAHA...
Me: Ugghhh, whatever!
I would never touch someone else's car, let alone someone that I didn't know. It was probably some jackass teenager.
Until next time...
Mandy
Monday, February 1, 2010
Art is not always pretty
Posted by Amanda at 8:09 AM
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4 comments:
OR, MAYBE IT WAS JUST SOMEONE THAT FELT SORRY FOR YOUR BROWN, OOPS, I MEAN, GREY MUSTANG. NO MUSTANG SHOULD BE SO DIRTY THAT SOMEONE MUST TAKE PITY UPON IT AND RALLY TO RELIEVE THE "STANG"'S SHAME.
ALSO, IT'S SAD THAT YOU DON'T HAVE ROOM IN THE BACK SEAT OF SAME MUSTANG FOR ANYONE OTHER THAN YOUR SMALLEST NEPHEW. AS I REMEMBER, THAT SAME NEPHEW TOOK A NAP ON A VERY LARGE PILE OF CLOTHES IN THAT BACK SEAT DURING THE CHRISTMAS SEASON. SOOOOOO SAD. HE LOOKED LIKE A LITTLE HOMELESS CHILD SLEEPING ON A HEATING GRATE HAVING PULLED EVERYTHING HE OWNED AROUND HIM FOR WARMTH.
THAT MUSTANG HAS BEEN THROUGH HELL!! IT DESERVES BETTER. IT MADE IT THRU HURRICANES RITA AND IKE WITH ONLY MINOR DAMAGE. AND, LET US NOW FORGET YOU TRYING TO TEACH THE POOR THING TO SWIM IN A VERY FLOODED DITCH!!
SO, TAKE PITY ON THE POOR OLD THING, AND WASH THE BITCH!!!
MOM
DAMN!! THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE "LET US NOT" FORGET. SOMEHOW IT TURNED INTO "LET US NOW FORGET". THAT ONE LETTER SURE DOES CHANGE THE MEANING OF THE WHOLE TIRADE.
BUT, STILL, WASH THE BITCH!!!
MOM
Well, the "wash me" is bad. But the penis thing is just out of control. Must have been kids.
The same thing happened to me last summer - I took it as a funny since I had recently gotten in the business. Now, if/when someone draws a penis in my grime...I take it as being hit on. :)
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