Really...Seriously...

All I can say about tonight oddball is, WOW!



Let me start off by saying, I'll instant message with anyone...I don't care. Well, let me take that back, if the IM starts with, "Hey, wanna fuck?" I just ignore it and go about my business.



Tonight, I'm on my computer and I get a notification that I have a message on the online dating site that I'm on, so I go check it out. Here's what is says...



just goin thru your profile, i kinda find you interesting and would love to kno more bout you.well my name is XXXX XXXX and I'm from Bristol UK just in texas for some business i breed puppies and capuchin monkeys would love to chat with you maybe we can interact and get along



Of course he breeds monkeys, what else would he do? So, obviously, I had to find out what this was all about, so we exchange yahoo im addresses and here we go...

(My thoughts are in red.)

(This exchange was copied and pasted from yahoo messenger.)

Him: so how are you doing?

Me: I'm good...talking to a friend on the phone.

Him: ok take your time my lady
My lady, for real.
Me: It's fine. So, do you live in Houston or are you visiting?

Hin: visit my dear but am not there anymore just got back last week end

Me: you're back in England?

Him: yep am back

Greg Wood: right now am at home

Greg Wood: talking to you

Me: That's cool. I've always wanted to visit there.

Him: that will be great if you can do that
What the hell?
Me: I don't see that happening anytime soon.

Him: well i love texas so much and i wish i can stay long but i cant

Him: i ahve so many thing to do here in england

Me: Do you come here often?

Him: is my fist time delivery puppy to a family in the USA

Me: Wow, that must have been one speacial puppy.
Why would someone in TX buy a puppy from a breeder in the UK? Does the dog poop gold?
Him: to a very speacial family

Me: what kind of puppy?

Him: maltese very cute

Me: awww, those are cute. I have a pound puppy poodle mix.

Him: wow that a very sweet breed too
Last time I checked, pound puppy poodle mixes weren't on the AKC list.
Him: i sold them out

Me: yeah, i think he's a poodle bichon mix. how long were you in tx?

Him: just three days the weekend

Me: that's a really quick trip.

Him: yeah i have lots of thing to do over here that y\
Yeah, you mentioned that...what, are you "Kind of a big deal"

Me: oh really. So, where exactly do you live?

Him: I live in manchester but born in Bristol

Me: what about you

Me: I was raised in Channelview, but now I live in Seabrook...near Galveston.

Him: ok

Him: got any kids?

Him: i have a son but his a grown man and lives with his family

Me: no, and i've never been married.

Him: humm..ok\
Why is it that when I tell people I've never been married and don't have any kids I always get the hmmmm...

Him: with you want to get married some day?

Me: how old are you>

Him: 42 and you?

Me: maybe one day, I'm not willing to settle...I'm waiting for the one that will be there forever.

Me: I'm 34.

Him: me too

Him: nice age
Okay...
Me: is it?

Him: yeah

Him: so what happen to the last guy?
That's a little personal, but since he asked...here we go...
Me: the last guy dumped me for God.

Me: He said that he felt like he turned his back on God and needed to pray more.

Him: hummm..i dont understand please

Him: how is that possible

Me: I don't know, it came out of left field.

Him: left field?

Me: yeah, out of nowhere.

Him: he said he wants to become father ?

Me: no, he started going to a strange, almost cultish church...I have a feeling they told him he needed to try to work things out with his ex-wife.

Him: is not yours if he know who you are he will stay
What is up with the way he talks?
Me: yeah, looking back, I'm kind of glad it happened at 6 months and not years later.

Him: you are beautiful and i thank the lord that he lost you and i found you
Whoa, that was borderline creepy...you have no clue who I am.
Me: Ummmm, we're thousands of miles apart...

Him: but i was there last weekend and back home so it dont mater to me my dear
What the fuck does that mean? Yeah, you were here but now you're not...this guy is very odd.
Me: Okay, I'm not sure how to respond to that.

Him: is ok.. you dont have to

Me: What happened to your last girlfriend.

Me: is just that i like you and i wish we can move on and make friend then let the lord do the rest
He's bringing up the Lord an awful lot...
Him: my last gf?

Me: yeah, you asked me about my ex and now I'm asking you about yours.

Me: how do you know you know you like me...you don't even know me.

Him: i have a son a very handsome
Where did that come from?

Me: What does your son have to do with anything?

Him: his mother is late
To what?
Me: what?

Him: yes i lost her

Him: but we where not married tho

Me: as in, she passed away?

Him: yes

Him: she passed away the lord love her so much that he wants her to come over
That's one I've never heard...
Me: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.

Him: that is a long time now and since then i work hard to raise our son

Me: how old is your son?

Him: 29
WAIT A MINUTE!!!!
Me: how is that possible, you would have been like 13 when he was born.

Him: i was very small but with a rapid growth\
What does that even mean???
Me: Okay, well, I have to go to bed now...I have to get up early in the morning.

Yeah, I'm not sure what a rapid growth is, and I'm not sure I even want to know.

Only me, people...only me.

Until next time...

Mandy