Do you ever wonder...

Do you ever look at yourself in the mirror and wonder what happened? I have been doing that a lot lately. I've got to make some changes, I'm just not sure where to start.

Until next time...

Mandy

Phobias

Since the night that I thought my dishwasher was going to burn my apartment to the ground, I have developed an irrational fear of using that appliance. I have been handwashing everything, and you know what, it hasn't been that bad. Did you know that your dishes look prettier when you hand wash them? There are several people that think I'm strange and odd, I like to think it's just another one of my odd quirks that make me Mandy. I started wondering if there was a technical name for a fear of dishwashers or using the dishwasher, so I went to this site, and apparently I'm the only one with this particular phobia. I decided to list some of the phobias that I thought were very peculiar...



Alliumphobia- Fear of garlic.

Anablephobia- Fear of looking up.

Anglophobia- Fear of England or English culture, etc.

Apeirophobia- Fear of infinity.

Arachibutyrophobia- Fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth.

Aulophobia- Fear of flutes.

Bolshephobia- Fear of Bolsheviks.

Caligynephobia- Fear of beautiful women.

Cathisophobia- Fear of sitting.

Chaetophobia- Fear of hair.

Dextrophobia- Fear of objects at the right side of the body.

Dutchphobia- Fear of the Dutch.



And these are just a few from the A - D section of this website. So see, I'm not that strange at all...Quirky, yes, strange, no.



Until next time...



Mandy

One of My Favorites

I was watching The Cosby Show yesterday when I got home from work, and to my pleasant surprise, it was an episode with one of my favorite scenes.


I love Bill Cosby.

Until next time...

Mandy

And this is why my mother calls me Grace.

Friday night was a classic Mandy moment. But first, I have to explain the layout of my apartment. When you come in the front door, you have two options...

1. Walk up the stairs to go into the bathroom and the bedroom.
2. Turn to your left, walk down two stairs to go into the living room, dining room or kitchen.

Around midnight Friday night I turned on my dishwasher and decided to go upstairs, read for a little bit and then go to sleep. So, I'm laying in my bed, reading a book I had just bought, and minding my own business, when I started noticing a strange smell. So, I got out of bed and walked down the stairs and once I got about half way down, I noticed that my living room was filled with a smokey haze and a foul and mysterious odor. So, once I get to the front door, I turn and, apparently, forgot that there were two steps to get down to the living room. People, I fell and I fell hard on my left ankle. At first I thought, "Great, my apartment is on fire and I have just broke my ankle." But I was able to hobble around a little bit. I gimped my way into the kitchen and noticed there was water all over the floor and smoke was coming out of the dishwasher. So, I opened the dishwasher and notice that the element was red, which I figured was normal, and I looked around the dishwasher as best I could but my glasses were slightly fogged up and the foul and mysterious odor was getting worse. So, as you all have probably guessed, my Worst-Case Scenario cape appeared and I started thinking, "Oh my GOD! Whatever this smell is is toxic and I'm going to die!" So, I start running around the apartment (Well, more like a quick limp...running on a twisted ankle is not possible.) As I'm opening the blinds on the sliding glass door, it occurs to me that I am only wearing a tank top and boy shorts. So, I have to gimp my way back up the stairs and find a pair of pajama pants. (Here's another one of my weird quirks, my pajamas have to match. Each pair of pants that I have has a coordinating shirt/tank top that goes with it. If the shirt is dirty then I can't wear the pants.) I was in such a hurry, I just threw on the first pair of jammy pants I could find, the whole time trying to hold my breath so I wouldn't breathe in any of the toxic fumes, this is not easy with me being a smoker and all. So, I have on a black and white striped tank top with a pair of white jammy pants with little rainbows all over them...I looked stunning. So, I called the apartment office twice and left messages on the emergency hotline. I was sitting outside on the steps waiting for the maintenance man to call me back. After about 30 minutes, I decide that I'm going to go over to my mother's house and stay there until morning, because I didn't want to die. I go in my house, close the sliding glass door, but leave the windows in my bedroom open to get the foul and mysterious odor out, I grabbed my purse, put on some flip flops (they didn't match either.) and drove over to Mom's house. The time at this point is about 1am and I don't have a key to Mom's house. I decided I would ring the doorbell for a while and if that didn't work, I would tap on her window. (Usually, Mom and Megan sleep like the dead.) I started ringing the doorbell, after about the 8th time Megan came to the door, asked who was there and let me in. Once in, I headed to Jereth's bedroom and went to sleep, around 1:30 am, the maintenance guy called me back and told me he was going to go check my dishwasher. The next morning, I had to explain the limp to the mother and the sister and they got a good laugh out of it. (We laugh at each other when we fall, don't judge us...it's our thing.) Then Megan told me that she had broke up with her boyfriend that night and when she heard the doorbell ringing she almost didn't get up for fear that it was him, drunk, with a "boom box" and a Peter Gabriel CD. So, I go back to my apartment and when I walk into the kitchen there is some weird, black, mangled thing on the cabinet...a measuring spoon fell in the bottom of the dishwasher. I felt like an idiot, my ankle was the size of a softball and there was probably some weird curse put on me because I woke some poor guy up. So, I spent the rest of the weekend laid up on the couch with my foot elevated and icing my ankle in 15 minute intervals. A friend of mine told me, "Well, Mandy, this was a fire drill, and you failed it miserably."

Until next time...

Mandy

THAT was Your Idea of a Compliment?

Have you ever been told something by a member of the opposite sex that was supposed to be a compliment, but in your mind you're like "HUH?" I get quite a few of them, some of my personal favorites are...

"You've got such a pretty face." and "Wow, you are THICK!"

But I have to say, the best one came a couple of years ago when I worked for another petroleum distributor. That company had a tire service that would come and fix or change the tires on all of the trucks. The gentleman that always came out was named Willie. Willie was short, thin, had a jerry curl, and had one tooth in his mouth...and it was gold.

Willie: Amanda, can you sign this ticket?
Me: Sure. How are you doing today, Willie?
Willie: I'm fine.
(I sign the ticket and hand it back to him.)
Willie: You know what?
Me: What?
Willie: Whenever I look at you, I think of a Clydesdale!
Me: That's an awfully big horse, Willie.
Willie: I know. You're a big, thick girl...And that's a good thing!
(All I could do at this point is look at him with my mouth hanging open.)
Me: Thanks Willie, I guess.
Willie: You're welcome.

Then with that, he got in his truck and left.

So, since I still work for the same guy, just at a different company, I still get to see Willie. And now instead of calling me Amanda, he simply calls me Clydesdale.

Until next time...

Mandy

The "F" Word

I was talking to a friend last night and we got on the subject of weird quirks. This friend hasn't known me for very long, so he was unaware of how strange I actually am.

I was telling him about my dislike of butt warmth and a few other things, then I told him my stance on bodily functions. For those who don't know, I HATE discussing them. I think bodily functions are, probably, one of the most disgusting topics anyone can discuss. I've mentioned before that Nanny drilled into my head, "Nice young ladies don't _______." When my family was staying over at Terra and Lyndon's, she and I were sitting on the patio smoking and, apparently, I forgot where I was and I burped. She looked at me, with eyes as big as saucers, and said, "That is the first time I have ever heard you burp." And she's known me since 1997. Anyway, here's how the conversation went...

Me: I hate to talk about bodily functions.
Him: Really?
Me: Yep, I pretend like they don't exist.
Him: That's weird.
Me: I told you, I'm a little on the odd side.
Him: I'm noticing that.
Me: I hate the "F" word.
Him: What?
Me: Looks around, cups my hand over my mouth and whispers...FART.
Him: (Laughing) Why?
Me: I don't know, I think it is one of the ugliest, tackiest words ever. That, and I would get in massive trouble if I said when I was growing up.
Him: (Laughing) So, you never use that word.
Me: Nope, but oddly enough, the word Fuck doesn't bother me one bit. I guess only parts of the Southern Belle training stuck.
Him: I think you got your "F" words mixed up.
Me: Probably.

I think I need electro-shock therapy.

Until next time...

Mandy

A Good Drunk

I'm in the mood for one. I'm ready to go to a bar, listen to some live music and drink heavily. The Horrorpops will be at the Meridian on October 25...I don't know if I can wait that long.

Anyone want to join me???

Until next time...

Mandy