Just get on and sit down!!!

When I drive to work in the mornings I have to drive through Channleview. Which, as most of you know, it the town I grew up in.

Let me tell you a little about "The View"...Channelview is a lower middle class area, sure, there are some people with money but those are usually families whose dads have worked at the chemical plant for 20+ years. I remember when I was growing up, there were a couple of people I went to school with whose fathers were executives, but for the most part everyone else's parents were working class. The majority of Channelview is non-deed restricted, which means you could have a $250,000 home and someone could buy the property next to yours and build a trailer park, and there is nothing you can do about it. Over the years, more and more trailer parks have popped up around the Channelview area. Which is fine, I don't care if you live in a trailer! In a trailer park, for those of you who have never seen or been to one, you can have as few as 5 trailers or as many as 30, depending on how big the piece of property is. So, if you have a trailer park with 20 trailers, more likely than not, you are going to have A LOT of children living in said trailer park. That brings me to what I want to bitch about this morning. I think there should be bus stop rules!

1. If there are two trailer parks located right next to each other, combine the kids at one entrance.
(This morning I was behind a school bus that stopped at one park and picked up about 12 kids, then as soon as she closed the bus door her yellow lights came back on and drove about 10 feet to the next park and picked up another 10 kids. Why is this necessary...combine the kids and get moving, I need to get to work!)

2. When you see the bus at the end of the street, start hugging your kids goodbye and telling them to have a good day before it stops at your residence.
(So, you have a cluster of kindergarten age children and every one of them has a mother waiting with them, which I get, you don't want a 5 year old running into the street...why do you wait to hug and kiss your child when the bus stops making all 10 of the cars behind the bus wait 5 minutes for you to tell your kid you love them. Seriously, you see the bus...hug your kid. It's not hard, I need to get to work.)

3. After you have all met at one location, you've seen the bus, hugged your kid, start lining the kids up, that way getting the kids on the bus is more efficient.
(Seriously, 22 kids in a cluster can't all board the bus at the same time. Put them in a line so they can get on the bus and I can get to work!)

4. You know what time the bus gets there, be standing in the line with the rest of the kids.
(Every morning I have to wait even longer because there is a mother and a child running from the last slot in the trailer park and the bus sits there. You're not there, you get left...that's how it was when I was riding a bus.)

5. Once the kid is on the bus, tell them to find a seat and sit down.
(Get on the bus and walk towards the back until you see an empty seat and sit down. I don't care if you don't that kid, make a new friend, read a book, whatever...just hurry up because I need to get to work!)

If they would follow these easy rules, it would probably knock about 15 minutes off my commute.

Until next time...

Mandy

2010: New Year, New Mandy

Here we are, a new year and a new decade and if you are a conspiracy theorist...only two years left of Mayan calender and two years away from THE APOCALYPSE! :P

I started this blog on January 1, 2007, and every year since I have listed the things that I want to accomplish for the upcoming year. Some things, I've accomplished and others I've let go of by the second week of January. I want to become a better person. I want to let go of things that I haven't been able to let go of in the past. I want to be able to appreciate the things I have and not dwell on the things I don't.

So, with that being said, here's my list of New Year's making Mandy better...

1. Lose weight - This is on the list every year. And, this is one of the things that I always give up on after a couple of weeks. Here's the problem, I LOVE FOOD! Seriously, food makes me happy. I think I have always used food as something to fill whatever void I have in my life at the time. I have to change my mindset. I can't keep looking at food as a crutch to get me through life's little hiccups. Also, my friend Latischia got engaged over the Christmas holiday and she asked me to be her Maid of Honor. And not to sound cheesy, but I do feel honored. I have done research on what my duties include...and wow, there are a lot. I have added one to my list and that is to lose weight before I have to stand next to her in a bridesmaid dress. I don't want look like Violet Beauregarde in all of her wedding pictures. Her wedding is in October, so I figure if I can lose 5 lbs. per month, that will be a total loss of 50 lbs by her wedding. I think this is a reasonable and attainable goal. When I'm done with this post, I will go directly to the Weight Watchers website and find a meeting close to my home. Weight Watchers has always worked in the past, so why not try it again!

2. Get back to church - In 2008, I was going to church regularly, and you know what, I felt better. And, I figure if the Apocalypse is coming in 2012 I probably need to get right with Jesus. (I'm kidding, I don't really believe the world is going to come to an end in 2012.)

3. Be patient - This is a big one for me. I'm one of the most impatient people in the world. I think that's probably why weight loss irritates me so much...if weight doesn't just fall off me, then I'm like, "Fuck it, it's not working." I've been working on the whole "patience is a virtue" thing and slowly but surely I think I'm starting to relax and accept that things will happen I just have to give them time. I was talking to Terra yesterday, and she was telling me about some issues she was having with her boyfriend and I told her that she and I both need to exercise a little patience, that things will happen when they are supposed to happen and that we both need to recognize the little things that our guys do, because the little things add up to bigger things. I've started to step back and take notice of the little things that The Guy does, things that he does not because he has to, but because he wants to. The relationship with The Guy is progressing, but slowly. And, when we first started seeing each other, I was impatient and over-analyzed our situation to the point of driving myself insane. Recently, I've looked at relationships the way you're supposed to look at weight loss...The slower you take it off, the longer it stays off, or if you're talking relationships, the slower you take it, the longer and happier the relationship will be.

I'm tired of rushing through life, maybe this year I'll step back and take a look around...you never know, I might just like it.

Until next time...

Mandy

I Want A Love...

I watched The Notebook for the first time recently. I had always heard about the awesome love story starring Allie and Noah, so I decided to watch it and guess what...it made me cry. I'm a sucker for a good love story

When Harry Met Sally

Sabrina

Knocked Up (Yes, it's a love story!)

Say Anything

I could go on and on. My favorites are the ones that are a little quirky and the people have some random meeting, blah, blah, blah. I'm even a huge fan of the love song and no one does a good love song like country artists. One of my favorites is Johnny and June. Heidi Newfield talks about how she wants a love like Johnny and June (of course she's speaking of Johnny Cash and June Carter-Cash.)

But here's my favorite love story of all time...

Whenever you asked Betty, "How did you and Bob meet?" She would always respond with a grin and say, "An accident call and a little pair of red shorts."

It was 1949, a 19 year old Betty was in the car with her sister Bonnie. They were driving along, minding their own business and a little boy on his bicycle darted out in front of them, and Bonnie hit the little boy with her car. (Don't worry, he was OK. I want to say it broke his leg, but I'm not sure.) Of course, after an accident like that the police were called out. One of the two policemen that responded to the accident call was a very handsome, 25 year old named Bob. After interviewing Betty and Bonnie, the officers let the women go about their business, but not before Bob found out that Betty was 19 years old, had just graduated high school and was visiting her sister for the summer. He also found out that Betty did not have a drivers license. Betty overheard Bob tell the other officer that she was way too young for him , but that she was going to make a good wife one day. The town that Bonnie lived in was a small town, east of Houston. The grocery store was maybe three miles away. Even though Betty didn't have a license she would occasionally take Bonnie's car to the store and as soon as she would pull onto the main street in town, there was Bob and his partner, siren blaring and lights flashing pulling her over. Once she pulled over, Bob would always get out and ask her the same thing, "Have you gotten your drivers license yet?" To which she would reply, "No, are you going to give me a ticket this time?" And he would tell her, "No." And she said she always responded with, "Then why do you keep pulling me over?" He would just grin and tell her, "Go get your license." This went on all summer, Bob finally asked her out, six months later they were married on December 22, 1949. And they were married until Betty's death in March of 1997.

In those 47 1/4 years, they moved to San Antonio, had three children and then moved to Houston and then shortly after that moved to Channelview. I got to see the last 21 years of their marriage. Some of my favorite Betty and Bob moments...

I love that Betty always called Bob "sha."
I love that they still played grab ass in the kitchen well into their 60's.
I love that they always kissed each other and said I love you before either one of them left the house.
I love the fact that Bob gave Betty a toilet seat for Christmas one year and she absolutely adored it and said that is was just what she needed.
I love the fact that she got pissed off that he gave her a new microwave for Christmas the next year because, "There was nothing wrong the old microwave."
I love the fact Betty would put her hair in rollers and Bob would meticulously apply the permanent solution to every roller on her head.
I love that Bob would call Betty "Edith" all Archie Bunker like.
I love that Betty never knew how to put gas in her own vehicle and would let Bob know when she was at a quarter of a tank and I love that Bob would grab her keys and take her car to the gas station and fill it up.

As you've probably already guessed, Betty was my Nanny and Bob is my Paw Paw. So, Heidi Newfield, I don't want a love like Johnny and June...I want a love like Betty and Bob.

Until next time...

Mandy

Christmas with the Paw Paw

Sunday was Christmas with the Paw Paw and his wife Dean in Smith Point, TX. Now, you probably don't know where Smith Point is, not many people do...it's at the end of the Earth. Seriously, you take I10 to Anahuac make a right and drive until you hit water. It takes a little over an hour to get there and this is the first year my family and I didn't get lost going over the river and through the woods. We usually get there around 1:30 and leave before it gets dark...because no one wants to try to find there way back to I10 after dark. My whole family was there and there was a lot of laughing and cutting up. Here are some of the funnier moments from yesterday...

I was standing on the front porch talking to my sister and Victor comes running up the stairs onto the porch and he was looking behind him to see if someone was chasing him. All of a sudden, I feel something hit me in the ass...it was Victor's face. When he turned around, he ran right into my ass, ricocheted off and fell on his ass. He then proceeded to get up and inform me that I had a fat butt. Thank you Victor, I was unaware of that little factoid.

A couple of weeks ago, Paw Paw told Mom that we were not to buy him any gifts. He said that with the economy as bad as it is right now, we need to save our money. So, when she showed up with a gift, he gave her the stink eye. He opened the gift and it was Bill O'Reilly's Bold Fresh Piece of Humanity.

Paw Paw: I told you no gifts.
Mom: Oh, hush.
Mandy: Tell Paw Paw the back story on the book.
Mom: Well, that was supposed to be one of your gifts from last year. When I bought it, I hid it and forgot about it. I found it a couple of weeks ago. So, there ya go.
Paw Paw: But this is an old book.
Mom: It's not that old, it's still on the best seller list.
Paw Paw: But it's like a year old.
Mom: I know, I bought it last year.
Paw Paw: I told you no gifts.
Mom: Have you read it?
Paw Paw: No.
Mom: Then shut up or I'll take it back.

My mom and I were sitting on the porch with Jerob and Jereth.

Jereth (the nine year old): I want to spend the night.
Mandy: You need to go tell Paw Paw that you want to stay here tonight.
Jereth: Jerob, do you want to spend the night with Paw Paw tonight.
Jerob (the twelve year old): No.
Jereth: Why not.
Jerob: Dude, we don't have any clothes and THEY'RE not going to come get us tomorrow.
Jereth: Mom will come and get us.
Jerob: Dude, mom can't find her way back here and Mandy and Me Me have to work...we'd be stuck here.

I love seeing my Paw Paw. And he's finally able to walk around without the help of cane. Looks like titanium joints are the way to go!

Me and the Paw Paw!

Until next time...

Mandy

The Lothario

I know how much all you enjoy my Willie stories.

Today, Willie came in looking for my boss, but the boss wasn't here yet.

Willie: Hey Clydesdale, where's Mark?
Me: I don't know, his phone is off.
Willie: I really need to talk to him. I'm going to leave him a note.
Me: OK.
Silence
Me: Willie, I thought you told me you were divorced.
Willie: *with a sly grin* I am.
Me: You're wearing a wedding ring.
Willie: This isn't a wedding ring.
Me: Right.
Willie: Seriously, I started wearing this because when I took my wedding ring off I had the tan band.
Me: A likely story Willie.
Willie: It's true...when you going to let me take you out?
Me: Sorry, Willie, I started seeing someone a couple of months ago.
Willie: Alright, Clydesdale. You just let me know when you want me to take you out...you know I'll treat you real good.
Me: I know you would, Willie.

So, without further ado, here is a photo of me and the infamous...WILLIE!



Until next time...

Mandy

I am so hot and sexy

Not much to say at the moment. But here's a funny little exchange that happened yesterday morning between The Guy and myself...

We were laying in bed talking on a lazy Sunday morning.

Me: Ughhh, my nose won't quit itching!!!
The Guy: Uh oh, I hope you're not getting sick.
Me: I doubt it, I'm slightly allergic to Christmas trees so I get sneezy and stuffy at this time every year.
The Guy: (Turning to look at me.) You're allergic to pine trees.
Me: (Turning to look at him) Yeah.
The Guy: (Pointing at my nose.) You have a booger.
Me: OH MY GOD!

And with that, I shot up out of bed and ran to the ladies' room to blow my nose.

Nothing says hot and sexy like something hanging out of your nose.

I guess we've reached a whole new comfort level in our relationship.

Until next time...

Mandy

What's in a Name

I want to change my name. No, not my first name because Amanda is the most awesome name in the whole world. I'm talking about my last name.

I hate my last name! Seriously, hate doesn't even begin to express how much I dislike my last name...if you combine hate, loathe and detest that might come close to how I feel about my last name. You see, my last name is the only tie that I have to my sperm donor. It pisses me off that I'm walking around with HIS name. When I was growing up, I begged my mother to change our last name to her maiden name, she would always tell me, "Mandy, you're going to get married one day and your last name is going to change. Just be patient." And I've been patient...but let's face it, I'm 33 years old, I've never been married...I've never even been engaged. Every birthday that goes by, is another year that I have to have that man's last name. I mean seriously, the damn thing ends with an x and it's mispronounced ALL. THE. TIME!

When I told the mother of my thoughts on changing my last name, she asked me what I would change it to. I mean, if I go with her maiden name then my name will be a little rhymey and people would expect me to speak Spanish more so than they do now. I thought maybe I could go to the nanny's maiden name, but her maiden name is french, my sister's middle name and it gets mispronounced as much, if not more, than my current name. And here is another dilemma...I've been in the same industry for almost 10 years and I've had customers follow me from one distributor to another, so they know me as Amanda Sperm Donor's last name.

What to do, what to do...

Until next time...

Mandy