I went out with my friend JoLyn Saturday night for her birthday. Since it was her birthday, I told her I would be the designated driver or as I was referred to all night...The DD. So, I was the only one that didn't have any alcohol...and it was a seriously eye opening experience.

To all of you who have been sober around me when I've had one too many of the adult beverages....Please accept my most sincere apology. Seriously, I damn near turned Native American Saturday night, I was almost a member of the Slapaho tribe. When I told JoLyn, "Wow, you're being really loud." She said to me...

"Bitsh, pleash. You're the loudesht bitsh ever when you drink!"

After she said this, I first wiped the little bit of spittle of my face and then I realized...she's right. When we went to see the Wooden Birds, apparently I was a loud bitch...so much so that when I said something, the lead singer gave me a weird look. I will say this though, at least I'm a happy drunk. Thank God my friends and I are not boo hoo crying drunks. Those are the worst kind. So, again, I will apologize for past and future obnoxious drunkeness.

In the meantime, here are some pictures from Saturday night...

This is the beginning of the evening.

Here are the three of us. The girl on the left is Sasha...it was her 21st birthday. This was about halfway through the night

One of the drunkards got let loose with the camera. They said, "Smile Amanda!" And as you can see, they almost cut me out of the pictures.

As stated in my Twitter update, I did use jazz hands all weekend!

And here we are at the end of the evening. One thing I didn't realize about drunken friends...they sweat...A LOT! When this picture was being taken, I was in the process of saying, "ARGHHH, Y'all are both sweaty and moist...GET OFF ME!!!"

I'm mostly joking...I love these two girls and I will be happy to be their DD any time.

Until next time...

Mandy

Which Team Will It Be???

If you are a woman and you have ever been single, there has been a time in your life when you say to yourself...

"Fuck it, fuck this, fuck men...I'm gonna be a lesbian."

And I'm almost to this point.

Don't be surprised if the next time you see me I'm wearing a flirtatious flannel, fabulous fanny pack and jammin' the hell out of some Sophie B. Hawkins "Damn, I Wish I Was Your Lover."

I'll still wear makeup though...I can't give up my red lipstick!

Until next time...

Mandy

Just The Monitors???

I received a couple of comments yesterday regarding the burglars taking just the monitors. After we looked around some more, we noticed some other things missing...

Four 17" flat screen monitors
One cordless drill
One VCR
One car battery quick-start something or other
One Budweiser neon sign
One broken cell phone

Yep, they made out like BANDITS!

Most likely it was kids or some random meth-head, who knows.

I'd kind of like to thank them...Boss lady replaced all the 17" monitors with 23" monitors. When you use a 23" monitor, it's like stuff just hits you in the face.

I already know...you have total monitor envy...it's OK, I would too.

Until next time...

Mandy

Not a Good Way To Start the Day.

I get to work this morning and I walk through the door and the conversation goes like this...

Boss man: Don't touch anything.
Me: What are you talking about?
Boss man: We've been robbed!!!
Me: What?
Boss man: Look around, all the monitors are gone.
Me: Oh my God, how did they get in here.
Boss man: They broke the window in your office and came in that way.
Me: Wow, that sucks!

My boss' wife goes and buys new monitors and the police came out and looked at everything blah, blah, blah. The worst part is, the rain picks today to come. So, Houston, TX is beyond humid. AND, since there is a big hole in the window in my office, that means that all the humidity is making itself at home in my office. Want proof... This is my hair normally. Straight and shiny! This is what I looked like when I left my house this morning. This look makes me happy. :)

This is my look today. Not straight, not shiny...it's borderline 'froish. This look does not make me happy. :(

I hope y'all are having a better day than I am.

Until next time...

Mandy

Live Music, Old Friends, New Friends and Beer

LOTS OF BEER.

Here is my weekend in pictures...

Laura and me. We have known each other since the 4th grade. She now lives in Austin but she was in Houston on Thursday night because her boyfriend's band was playing at Walter's On Washington.

This is Laura's boyfriend, Jody. He is total sexiness! (Good job, Laura!)

Here are The Wooden Birds on stage. There wasn't an ugly one amongst them...the guy with the guitar is quite hot.

This was strange...all of the girls were wearing black shirts, blue jeans (laura was wearing jean shorts) ond converse.

D.G., a.k.a. Hoochie, and me. I have known her since 1992.

Terra and me.

Uh oh...look who else met us out. It is none other than Sublime Enigma. We have been reading each other's blogs since 2007. Now that we've hung out once we will have to do it again. And seriously, how cute is he???

This is JoLyn and me. We went out Saturday night, because what better way to celebrate Independence Day than drinking and dancing at a bar.

This is Abraham and me. We went to high school together, he was also my boy in my senior dance. Bless his heart, he actually lifted me back in 1994. (I was much smaller back then) He is now in a country band called Misbehavin. They play a good mixture of old country and new country. Abraham even threw in a little Motown, "These Arms of Mine." If you're into country music and you live in or around the Houston area you should check his band out.

So there you have it. The holiday was great, but now it's back to work to recover from the weekend.

Until next time...

Mandy

And They Wonder Why

Republicans wonder why people are leaving the party...I'll tell you why people are leaving...because all of the elected officials are effing hypocrites.

I am so SICK of every time a friggin' political sex scandal happens, it's a member of the Republican party. You know, the party that says it stands for "Family Values." Last time I checked, valuing your family did not include screwing around on your wife!

And

The party that stresses that marriage should be defined as "one man and one woman." Isn't it funny how many gay sex scandals have happened over the past couple of years and they've all been Republicans.

Here's my advice...

Put down your guns...No one is going to take your right to bear arms away from you.

Let abortion go...Even if Roe vs. Wade is overturned, abortions are still going to happen. Just illegally and women will end up dying. I understand that you don't believe in abortion, all I have to say is...DON'T HAVE ONE! Or, if you are that adamant about abortion being illegal, you need to put your name on the "would like to adopt an unwanted baby list."

Get off the marriage high horse. If two men want to get married, LET THEM...THEY ARE NOT HURTING ANYONE! And, if you are still worried about the "sanctity of marriage" then you need to outlaw divorce and adultery.

And finally...

Quit letting the Religious Right control our party.

We need to get back to what the Republican Party once stood for...MORE PEOPLE, LESS GOVERNMENT!

Seriously, if things don't start changing within our party, there will be one less member in Texas...I should probably start researching Libertarians.

Until next time...

Mandy

A Story That Always Makes Me Laugh

I will not be naming any names in this story, when you get done reading it you'll understand why.

There was a time when I went through a "cowgirl phase." I wore Rocky Mountains and Ropers and went dancing every weekend and for some reason I was extremely attracted to guys in Wranglers with the phrase "Grand Champion Steer" written on their belt buckle. My BFF at the time introduced me to this world...She also introduced me to two team ropers, we'll call them Header and Heeler...because that's what you do when you team rope...one ropes the head (The Header) and one ropes the back feet (The Heeler.) Now, let me tell you this one little tidbit of information, BFF and I were borderline stalkers. We knew which roping arena these guys were at every night of the week. If there was a small rodeo...we were there. And, if they weren't at a roping arena, then our mission for the night was to find them...and we usually did. (Our stalking abilities at 18 years old were astounding.) Oh, don't get me wrong, they'd throw us a bone every now and then and come and visit us, but it was usually us hunting them down...like dogs.

So, one night BFF got a page (does this tell you how long ago this was.) and it was The Ropers. So, we invited them over to my house. Now, the way my old house was set up was...

Street
Circular Driveway
Grandparents House and Carport
Sidewalk and Swimming Pool
My house

So, we had the guys pull up in front of the carport...right under the enormous, motion activated flood light, right next to my grandfather's bedroom window.

So, the guys are there and BFF is talking to Header while Heeler and I are sitting on the tailgate of the truck, and I notice that BFF and Header have gotten in the cab of the truck and then Heeler leans over and kisses me. So, he and I started making out. Then out of nowhere, my mother power walks up to the truck...

Mom: MANDY...GET OVER HERE NOW!
Mandy: What?
Mom: These boys have to leave...NOW!
Mandy: What, why?
Mom: Because, your grandmother just called to inform me that Paw Paw just saw BFF giving Header a blow job.
Mandy: WHAT!?!?!?!?
Mom: That's right...So, get them out of here...NOW!

Mandy: (Knocking on the door of the truck) BFF, Header and Heeler have to go.
BFF: Why?
Mandy: Because Paw Paw just saw you going down on Header.
BFF: Just tell him I had my head in his lap.
Mandy: Dude, your head was bobbing up and down...what am I supposed to tell him, that Header was tapping his foot to the beat of the music???

Let me tell you, this was not funny at the time...but looking back on it now, Mom, BFF and I will laugh until we have tears rolling down our faces.

Until next time...

Mandy