Tuesday night, I sat down to watch The Biggest Loser. This is the first season I've ever watched of this program, but it gets me every episode. My eyes end up misting at least once every show, but Tuesday night was ridiculous...I had a total emotional meltdown.
Here's how it went...
I was sitting on my couch, eating tamales watching The Biggest Loser...apparently, I missed that O'Neal's brother passed away sometime during the taping of the show. During the last chance workout, he started to flip the eff out, beating on a machine, nearly hitting Jillian and he started crying uncontrollably. So, of course, I start crying...and I don't mean just misting up and one single tear rolls down my cheek, I'm talking sobbing, snotting, boo hoo crying. Then I start thinking, these people are up off their asses losing 100+ pounds, what's wrong with me, why can't I motivate myself to do something...I don't even like getting up off butt to walk The Wonder Pup.
Then it morphs into...
My friends suck! I'm always there for them. They call, I come...I don't have anyone that would just come over if I was sad. (Nevermind the fact that most of them have kids and can't just drop everything and drive to my house.) Why am I always the one that makes sacrifices for them? No one cares. *Sob, snot, boo hoo*
And then that morphs into...
No one is ever going to love me. I'm going to be old and alone! I might as well buy 57 cats, so I can go ahead and become that crazy cat lady that everyone already thinks I'm going to become...maybe I should buy a couple of muumuus also. I'm going to die in this tiny shoe box of an apartment, and no one will even realize it until the stench of my rotting corpse floats out onto my balcony. And then when they find me, I won't even be able to have an open casket because Rogen and the 57 cats will have eaten my face because they were hungry. *Sob, snot, boo hoo*
So, I decided to take a shower and when I looked in the mirror I thought, "I am old and alone...look at all the gray hair, and is that crows feet!?!?!? Oh my God!" *Sob, snot, boo hoo*
It was so pitiful, I was annoying myself. Once I got out of the shower, I called my friend Kathryn and she talked me off the ledge. She assured me she has gone through the same thing, so that made me feel a little less nutty.
I really think it had more to do with PMS rearing it's ugly head.
Until next time...
Mandy
Thursday, April 22, 2010
I Received an Invitation for a Pity Party, and I RSVP'ed YES!
Posted by Amanda at 7:02 AM
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5 comments:
Ok, woman, that's it! You're suppose to be Happy Mandy...not Sad Mandy. I don't like that at all. I know we haven't ever been super close, but you can always call me. I know I'm in FL now and can't grab a drink with you, but at the very least, I don't have children that will nag me while I'm on the phone with you :). No one should ever have to go through a breakdown by themselves!
On the other hand, I find punching assholes in the face alleviates stress - very therapeautic. Maybe you should try that and see if it helps.
Awww, thanks! I don't know what got into me Tuesday night. I'm not even that big of a cryer, choked up on occassion, yes...sobbing, no. But, I think everyone needs a good boo hoo fest every once in a while.
I'm much better now, almost 100% back to happy, pappy Mandy
I had a week like that last week. PMS is a bitch.
And I missed the thing about O'neal's brother too, so don't feel bad.
You are definitely not alone there, Mandy!
I have had more than my share of pity parties.
And it doesn't help that I can't even have a cat because of my lease!
I would love to come over and help but I'm a little too far away, but if your ever passing here you can visit and I don't have any animals or children, like you I am alone in a small apartment and think that I will endup crazy alone lady too and I can't even have any pets I could get a gold fish but I'd probably forget to feed it!! heres hoping that things will get better takecare xx
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